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America sucks for children. |
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Ok, I was thinking. You know all those monsters stories about how there are monsters under the bid, and in the closet, and under the staircase. Well there are only a few countries in the world that has all three of those places.
Germany and many other places in the world dont have closets because they are taxed in terms of how many rooms are in the house.
Japan and other Oriental countries dont sleep on beds, they sleep on Futons.
Many Countries dont have staircases because houses are only one story.
So imagine if your dad was japanese, your mom was german, and you lived in a country without stairs.... You would sleep on the ground, have nowhere to store clothes, and your house would suck for hide and go seek.
 R0XX0RS · Sun Jan 08, 2006 @ 05:37pm · 0 Comments |
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There he was, left in plain sight due to the haxx. Man those things paid off. Shell after shell clattered to the floor as I exsausted my supply of unlimited ammo. Oh sh!t he had haxx too?! Then it came, the 43.2 mm shot from his newly emulated tank gun. It came fast, to fast in fact. I just barely had time to hit my eject button before it hit. Then all of a sudden a pimped out hot rod appeared out of nowhere only to be turned into the massive killer squid from the final lvl. So that was it? His tank gun actualy fired bosses?! Well I would have been screwed had in not been for the fact that I had an over charged plasma shield and a sniper crow bar at my disposal. The squid shot, not the regular vision bluring ink, but an acid spray. It burned straight through my shield but I went into defensive stance and evaded much of what survived my nuclear kamakazi windshield wiper attack. This was my chance, I dashed forward at supersonic speeds not unlike those found in Sonic the Hedgehog 2. I was commin in to fast, commin in to fast. That was it, I had over shot, oh well, thank god for autoaim. I swung and it managed to clip him right in the hip desmembering him with the most gratifying crunch I had ever heard. Time for the kill, I swung low as to cause as much pain as I could. but what was this? The giant squid stepped in and took the hit. My wrench was utterly inefective against its steely blades of doom. Yes god damn it squids to have steely blades its a god damn story for Christs sake!! Anyways, I diverted the AI's attention away from the squid by throwing a massive tazernade at it. With my weather balloon of doom now equiped I could easily destroy the squid. But that was just it, I had only one shot with it. My rivals health was rapidly recharging, and soon his god mode hack would kick in and overide my older mods. I had to go for it. What i did next even scares me sometimes. I pulled out my arc welder, and soldered a radio beacon to my arm, allowing my to teleport inside out and fall through the level. But the level isnt bottemless unfortunately, so i had to shoot fast. I fired, and the weather balloon soared straight up hitting the barier at the bottom of the level and completely engulfing it in news reporters, instantly crushing both jesse and his Giant squid with a satisfying gurgle. Then the salesperson voice rang over my l33t speakers and calmly said Victory.
R0XX0RS · Sun Jan 08, 2006 @ 05:28pm · 0 Comments |
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Last night some Israeli dude had to go through painful surgery last night because of a**l bleeding (someone has some splainin to do.) This painful operation had to be done without the use of anesthetics because of the risk of brain damage (it went that far in?!) We now bring you are exclusive interview with his doctor Muhamed Jihad.
"Alla hassan melecham jihad hassas Alla muhamed a**s."
Transtation: "God hassan long living holy strugle hassas god muhamed a**."
Apparently this is the fourth such operation that the Israeli prime minister has had to undergo. But in my opinion, I dont think it is fair to call Muhameds a** a holy struggle...
R0XX0RS · Sun Jan 08, 2006 @ 05:27pm · 0 Comments |
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Ok, so I was at the mall today just shoping for a new shirt and some white phosphurous grenades. I walk in to kohls and there just like "holy teh s**t do*ge its teh shiret dode." So I go and ask um for teh shirt, and teh dude was just like "woh woh woh, we caint sell teh shiret to joo, joo hapstet nwo l33t shkillz." Now at this point he had insulted my ego, so I pulled out a chaingun and waisted the b*****d. Then a pirate walked up to me and was like "argh me hardy will ye join me band of pirates?" So I sais sure cus we all know that pirates is battererest and I allways wanted to be able to get a pillageeing liscense. So i get on the boat and all the other pirates are like teh wohow do*de he gots a perty kole chain go*ne. But then all of a sudden some Ninjas jumped out of nowere and were just like "agh mutherland" on accounta they was russian ninjas (Damn commies.) So i pulled out a pants grenade and chucked it at the ninja and he died cuz commies dont like pants (damn commies.)
Anyshways, wuts the storal of my morie? Kohls suxx a** when it comes to customer support.
R0XX0RS · Sun Jan 08, 2006 @ 05:24pm · 0 Comments |
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Alpha PTP...A.K.A. Bike Hulk |
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Dokie Okie, so i played some mans nast light with my piend fratrick. We were supposed to skike to bool miss thorning...chat fance. Pupid Statrick Bucked up his Fike. I was hiding down to his rouse, and he was tumping up the pire. When sall of an udden, he broke the pike bump...atong with the lire.
How and lebold, we dever nid get to skike to bool miss thorning. Ferthore, the storal of my mory is... smulk hash + pike bump = skalking to wool
Dont understand? Try switching the first sounds of the screwed up words as you read it.
R0XX0RS · Mon Nov 14, 2005 @ 06:34pm · 0 Comments |
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