Emo n00bs
Emo n00bs. If there is thing I hate more than n00bs, it's emo n00bs. (well, emo people in general bug me, but that's besides the point....) Anyhoo, I'm
sure someone who's reading this has had a run-in with one of these especially annoying species of n00bs.
For anyone with questions, here's a definition:
definition
Emo n00b (Ĭ-mō nōōb) : A n00b using pathetic attempts to gain trophy friends and attention through fake suicide threats, complaints, and sappy fictional stories.
A possible conversation
For those who haven't met one, a conversation might go like this:
Emo n00b: w177 U d0n4t3?// Plz Plz Plz Plz!!!111
Me: no.
Emo n00b: N0bodi lykes m3.
Me: that's nice.
Emo n00b: 1,m g01ng 2 k177 mYs37f
Me: You go do that.
Emo n00b: g00dby3 cru37 w0r7d
Me: yup. Goodbye
Emo n00b: t3h kn1f3!11 I,t hUrtz!!11
Me: How can you be typing if you just stabbed yourself?
Emo n00b: (ignores the question) h37p m3h. T3h kn1f3. 1,t hUrtz!!111
Me: How am I supposed to help you? For all I know, you could live on mars.
Emo n00b: 1'll us3 teh gUn..... (completely ignores the fact that they just "stabbed" themselves)
Me: O.o
continuation(of the conversation)
By know, after straining to read their 733tish text and annoying plees for attention, you're usually glad they are gone. But no, just as your resuming your relaxing stroll through towns, or continuing your fishing, they show up again, completely ignoring the fact that they just "killed" themselves, or, as some of the smarter ones do, (Even though that's redundent. A smart n00b) pose as someone else, as seen in this cotinuation of a conversation I had with one:
(about ten minutes after death threat)
Emo n00b: OMG!111 U K1773D MY S0N!!!1111
In case your not sure, this n00b just showed up pretending to be the original emo n00b's mother or father. I'm not sure which.
Me: Yup Sure. Who exactly are you trying to fool?
Emo n00b: 1T,s 477 UR F4ULT!!!!!1111 H0W D0 U 5HUT TH15 TH1NG 0FF??///
Me: If you can figure out how to put on CAP LOCKS, then you can figure out how to
turn off the computer.
Emo n00b: 1 N33D T0 T4k3 MI 50N T0 T3H H05P1T4L. H0W D0 U TURN TH15 0FF?///
Me: If your "son" was really "dying", you wouldn't have stopped and bothered to talk to us. You would have taken him straight to the hospital.
Ect, Ect.
In case of an encounter
If you ever have run-in with one of these potentially annoying n00bs, the most important thing you can do is to remain calm. Use your head, but do try not to argue, seeing as they'll only refute and ignore your logic. Try backing away slowly, but do not show fear. Try to lure them towards another person, and convince them that they would be a better host to release their annoying wrath upon.
The best thing you can do, is to try to avoid this situation to begin with. If you encounter a n00b in towns or fishing, and they start targeting you, making up lies and bugging you for gold and attention, quickly tell them to go away, and leave it at that. However, this always has a potential for backfiring, and getting the emo n00b extremely pissed at you. This has happened to me before. Once again, the best thing to do is to remain calm. Just ignore them until they run out of steam. If none of these work, the best thing you can do is to flee immediately. In the worst possible case, you might have lost 25 gold on your grade F bait. But it is a small price to pay to escape an emo n00b.
Amusing Yourselves
Though I'm sure you know this already, emo n00bs (and regular n00bs for that matter) are bound to say some stupid things. If you are around to hear these, then they can amuse you greatly. Naturally, there is always the danger of the n00b turning on you, leaving you as the victim of their annoyance. However, of you are careful, you could be around to make fun of these n00bs when they say something idiotic or something that doesn't make sense.
I hope you have found this entry informative. And always remember: Be cautious around emo n00bs, and you will easily escape their annoying wrath. Just remember, never do anything to prevoke them.
