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My Dear Ex-Best Friend,
Because I can't tell you to your face what you are, for fear that in the act of doing so, I might smash your face into something hard and damaging. I will write in this journal to explain to you what I wish I could explain to you in real life. Dear Ex Best Friend, you are a fake, fat, manipulative, hypocritical and annoying ..... wait, this is the most important word to describe you..... b***h. It sucks that we are roommates because the b***h in me just wants to slash your clothes, throw your stuff out the window, and smash your computer into pieces. Every time you are rude to one of my family, friends, or me, in general (especially when I don't do s**t to you), I want to smash up the windows and break holes into all the effing walls in the apartment. It doesn't matter to me, we are all under a lease, we will all have to pay. At least, if I was to act out this bitchiness, you will know not to effin mess with me again. I effin promise you, if you bring the b***h out, she will stay out and she will effin mess you up for the rest of your life as long as we are in the same city. Trust me, stop messing with me b***h. Stop ******** messing with me. Damn, I hate these timid, quiet, lying, fake, manipulative, hypocritical bitches. ******** you.

PS I'm glad we had this talk.