|
The Next Chapter in the Story That is Now Mine
Presenting LOTR:The Continuation Chapter:I don't Care
I was suprised by the fact they arrived back in the Enchanted Isles so quickly. I would have thought it would take longer to journey all the way to the Undying Lands and back. What I found to be even more peculiar was the fact that they arrived in an entirely new boat from the one they set out in in. It was much larger by comparison and was carved to looked as though it were a swan. The who we rented the boat from seemed quite pleased by his new aquirement instead of vexed. He also seemed very pleased that I took the last of his Longbottom leaf off his hands. True the pipeweed was greatly over prized, but when you smoke as much as I do you have no other choice.
By this time in out chapter you are probably wondering why you are being blessed with the narration by myself, the great and noble king of Gondor instead of the usual boring and mondane ode of my daughter. These are two large reasons for the change. The first is that throughout the course of our journey we have begun to find Rren becoming increasingly angsty, whining, annoying, and bitchy making her telling somewhat self-absorbed and having a tendency to make herself look like the great hero. The truth of the matter as well all already know it is that I'm the hero, how can I not be. I'm the only one in this entire group that faced Sauron. I'm the one that gave life to the second ringbearer. Yet do I get any credit? No! I should be the one with the fan club, not that little annoying overly perfect son of mine. Sure you may argue that he is handsome, dashing, and has a great personality, but does he rule over an entire kingdom? I think not! That naturally brings me to reason two. Reason two for my narration is so that I may convey to the audience how important my presence in this group really is. Sometimes in the novel I may have come off as a smoking, drinking, blubbering fool but the truth is I'm very well-spoken and well-mannered. I'm the ranger and king here remember! Well now that I've explained this all to you let us continue were we left off.
That evening after Rren, Gwen, and that elf had finishing telling my son and me the boring tale of their visit with Galadriel I sat down with my usual evening pipe as the lazy good for nothing children got ready to go to bed. The only one that stayed up was Gwen, who I was beginning to think never slept. Then again I had to remind myself that she was an elf, while that other one that claimed to be an elf was most likely have dwarf or something similar to it. Gwen sat silently brooding as she always did, occasionally throwing logs onto the fire, since we had to camp out due to the fact the ferry didn't open till morning, damn lazy ferryman. Anyways so I continued to happily puff away at my pipe, man was it good to taste some Longbottom leaf again. I decided then and there that if I lived through this journey I'd have to visit the Shire more often so I could buy the pipeweed for dirt cheap. While I was in the middle of trying to figure out how many barrels of pipeweed we could afford to take with us on our intial journey, Gwen had the audacity to speak and disrupt my thoughts.
"Uncle you really should not smoke," Gwen suggested, "It's bad for you health." I rolled my eyes. Not this old routine again. How many times was she going to try and enter me in Gwen's Stop Smoking Program.
"If I didn't smoke I'd probably drink," I countered, "Which would be better?"
Gwen eyes narrowed in agitation, she seemed to finally realize I wasn't going to budge. This was good maybe she's not try again in the future. Laughing happily to myself over my triumphant I continued to smoke.
To be continued....
|
