Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I though I'd use my journal again... just to ramble. At least then I can lie to self a believe someone may actualy care.

Most of the time, through my entire life, I'm told that I'm a "good person".
Why does it never feel like it? Why is it even through my acts of selflesness, I get treated like a door mat, a rug. People feel like they can walk all over me, and just use me. Take advantage of my kindness then throw it back in my face with a smug grin on theirs. I generally have had enough with people. I see no point in having "friends" If I'm never made to feel like one...

I never ask for much off of anyone, I try to understand different people, I never judge. However this is the thing people seem to do repeatably. All I ever want off people, is just a little respect, maybe show they actual care for me, as a friend. Maybe show a little concern, maybe remember what I'v said.

It's not only that, I'm always made to feel like I'm the bad the guy, it feels like I'm the person constantly and consistently in the wrong. It depresses me. Everyday I feel like I'm losing care for anything, and anyone. Because I know no one cares about me.

Overall, I don't feel like I'm living...just existing...existing for people ammusement with no future ahead of me...