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Summer's not here yet..... >=0 |
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*blows dust off computer*
Haven't been here in a long time.
Lot of crap happend while I was gone too >=0 as
I suspected Shuichi completely and utterly stupified the tour.
Not to mention my editor was being spycho.
I went to Osaka as well. Ofcourse I wasn't following him.
Like I would ¬_¬. Ahem but anywho, he just had to make a
scene when he found out I was there. People stared,
he cried, and then they decide to infiltrate our
hotel room and disrupt my work.
That man K sure is an annoying pice of scum.
But then there was chocolate and then some hmmmm...
ninja I devoured him completely,
(oh god it had been two weeks!!) and then!!!! he fell asleep >=|
I mean is it me or is there something wong here?
I didn't even get to have some fun with him.....
but then again, I got to taste his lips and breathe in the sweet scent of strawberries from his hair.
He's always like that you know?
always reminding me of the good times
when we used to scavenge around for
change to go to the store and buy as many
of those sugary treats as possible;
and his hair reminded me of the long summer
days wehn we went to pick strawberries and
we'd eat so many our fingers would be red for a week.
*sigh* I'm getting softer the older I get.
I hope he gets home soon. D=
dinner's getting cold...
 Uesugi_Eiri · Wed Mar 07, 2007 @ 06:32pm · 0 Comments |
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Life sucks ne? And yet we keep on living =_=
wth?... people are such idiots sometimes.
So yes... I have cookies >=D
But anyways it snowed today.
So I stayed in bed all day. I still have a deadline for today, and I need to e-mail my editor before she kills herself. Oh well.... I'll eat first.
Shuichi's actually not being so annoying lately. Maybe it's because he's going on a tour? e.e Two weeks... =( I might miss him.
He's not even home right now, rehearsing late at night while I type the same crap I've been typing for the past five years =| soon everyone will get tired of it and I'll just become an old man with nothing left. It's kinda scary to think about.... I think there's some leftover cake in the fridge.
Uesugi_Eiri · Wed Jan 24, 2007 @ 02:14am · 0 Comments |
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I've been thinking a lot....
about nothing in particular...
but I've been thinking nonetheless...
>=| that the human race is totally screwed up.
They give you these pills.... and the you take them.... and then become dependent on them... because they make you feel nothing..
there is emptiness.... you feel like you don't give two shits about the world...
and then.. they cost a lot of money, and not to mention therapy hours...
<= (
so what happens now? Am I suppose to keep drinking these things, and live my life away?
Am I supposed to fight these demons? >= ( Its just a way for them to control the better thinkers you know?
Medicine for psychotic thinking they say. And what do they do? they numb your brain so you can't think at all.
They are just scared that they will be overrun <.<
and then they can't do nothing about it. That is why they have asylums, and nut houses, and morgues )=0
And we will all get crushed under the oppression of government.
Have you seen V for Vendetta? Its a good movie.
Things that have a possibility of happening.
I've been wondering for a while why all our good presidents and people (Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr, Lincoln) have all been murdered, and we can't get rid of this guy in office right now >=|
well that's it for my thoughts in this piece of crap... I have to write my new manuscript.. >:@
Uesugi_Eiri · Sun Jan 14, 2007 @ 08:08pm · 0 Comments |
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Lyrics. (pronounced: havala)
Little Bird, Little Chavala
I dont understand whats happening today
Everything is all a blur
Gentle and kind and affectionate
The sweet little bird you were
Chavala, Chavala
Little Bird, Little Chavala
You were always such a pretty little thing
Everybodys favourite child
Gentle and kind and affectionate
The sweet little bird you were
Chavala, Chavala
journal.
Little bird. Everyone's favourite child. Look how happy she was.
Little bird, little girl, little fourteen year-old girl, how you'd dreamed and awaited so much for your Fifteenth year.
And now we cry, everyone cries, together for you.
Once or twice, or even thrice my eyes met you down the hall, you happy child, always worrying about your grades.
Oh how your dream then was to graduate at the top. At the top of your class.
Friend of a friend of my friend. I so longed to have known you better, to have gotten the chance to know the real you, not just the little girl with the little white back pack.
Trying to never frown.
Little girl, who will play your instrument now?
Who will fill your empty seat?
Who will be asked for help in Mathematics?
Little bird, you'll never be replaced.
Even if someone is assigned your seat.
Even if someone is assigned your little drum.
Even if someone else is asked for help in mathematics.
You will be with us in our minds.
When we are sad, we will picture your smile, not your frown.
When we are happy, we will see you happy with us.
And we will always remember how we met, not how we said good bye.
Adriana.
and that is what happened today
Uesugi_Eiri · Sun Jan 14, 2007 @ 07:04am · 0 Comments |
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They come in different colors.... |
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Hey, I get to pick the blue or black bottles: Thorazine:used for the treatment of schizophrenia It is also prescribed for the short-term treatment of severe behavioral disorders in children, including explosive hyperactivity and combativeness; and for the hyperenergetic phase of manic-depressive illness. Is used in the treatment of disorganized and psychotic thinking and also used to help treat false perceptions (e.g. hallucinations or delusions.)
Charming isnt it? Oh look, it comes with more side effects than what it can cure.
Side effects may include:
Abnormal secretion of milk, abnormalities in movement and posture, agitation, anemia, asthma, blood disorders, breast development in males, chewing movements, constipation, difficulty breathing, difficulty swallowing, dizziness, drooling, drowsiness, dry mouth, ejaculation problems, eye problems causing fixed gaze, fainting, fever, flu-like symptoms, fluid accumulation and swelling, headache, heart attack, high or low blood sugar, hives, impotence, inability to urinate, inability to move or talk, increase of appetite, infections, insomnia, intestinal blockage, involuntary movements of arms and legs, tongue, face, mouth, or jaw, irregular blood pressure, pulse, and heartbeat, irregular or no menstrual periods, jitteriness, light-headedness (on standing up), lockjaw, mask-like face, muscle stiffness and rigidity, narrow or dilated pupils, nasal congestion, nausea, pain and stiffness in the neck, persistent, painful erections, pill-rolling motion, protruding tongue, puckering of the mouth, puffing of the cheeks, rapid heartbeat, red or purple spots on the skin, rigid arms, feet, head, and muscles (including the back), seizures, sensitivity to light, severe allergic reactions, shuffling walk, skin inflammation and peeling, sore throat, spasms in jaw, face, tongue, neck, mouth, and feet, sweating, swelling of breasts in women, swelling of the throat, tremors, twitching in the body, neck, shoulders and face, twisted neck, visual problems, weight gain, yellowed skin and whites of eyes.
Signs and symptoms of Borderline. For this ones i get to pick the pink or orange bottles....
Borderline personality disorder affects how people feel about themselves, how they relate to others and how they behave.
People with BPD often have an unstable sense of who they are. That is, their self-image or sense of self often rapidly changes. They typically view themselves as evil or bad, and sometimes they may feel as if they don't exist at all. This unstable self-image can lead to frequent changes in jobs, friendships, goals, values and gender identity.
Relationships are usually in turmoil. People with BPD often experience a love-hate relationship with others. They may idealize someone one moment and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even misunderstandings. This is because people with the disorder have difficulty accepting gray areas — things are either black or white. For instance, in the eyes of a person with BPD, someone is either good or evil. And that same person may be good one day and evil the next.
In addition, people with BPD often engage in impulsive and risky behavior. This behavior often winds up hurting them, whether emotionally, financially or physically. For instance, they may drive recklessly, engage in unsafe sex, take illicit drugs or go on spending or gambling sprees. People with BPD also often engage in suicidal behavior or deliberately injure themselves for emotional relief.
* Psychotherapy. This is the core treatment for BPD. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was designed specifically to treat the disorder. Generally conducted through individual, group and phone counseling, DBT uses a skills-based approach to teach people how to regulate their emotions, tolerate distress and improve relationships.
* Medications. Medications can't cure BPD, but they can help associated problems, such as depression, impulsivity and anxiety. Medications may include antidepressant, antipsychotic and antianxiety medications.
* Hospitalization. At times, people with BPD may need more intense treatment in a psychiatric hospital or clinic. Hospitalization can also keep them safe from self-injury.
Uesugi_Eiri · Wed Jan 03, 2007 @ 02:41am · 0 Comments |
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Happiness happinesssssssss...... |
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I've been sleeping a lot lately. It's not even that I just sleep, I don't do it as much, but when I do, I don't wake up. Sensei prescribed some new medications, as if I don't feel pathetic enough with all those amber bottles in my cabinet, mocking my weakness. Depression they say.
I think they have another screw loose. I promised my self that I'd be strong, and that I wouldn't break down on Shu anymore, but my dreams still haunt me >: |
Right now I'm on some crap therapy if you'd call it that. I call it torture.
Listening to that song over and over and over and over again. Happiness by the Zippers. Catchy tune... ggrrrr...
Uesugi_Eiri · Tue Jan 02, 2007 @ 06:36am · 0 Comments |
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