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What exactly is the point of anything?

As we live, we grow and learn so that we are capable of doing things but then what after?
Right now, I feel like I can do nothing at all that will affect anything.
I don't think about what to do in the future, maybe because I'm afraid.
I realise people around me think and plan what they are going to do, even if it is just a week ahead but all I do it watch and comment.
Afraid that if I dream or set any type of goal of some sorts, it will be crushed or be unobtainable.
I'm probably kidding myself everyday.

Yes, I know that someday, I will be able to do something; might be able to but what about now? Now, when there is so much happing; now, when things are changing; now, when those things are still here to do something about.

I don't know, maybe it's just the weather that's affecting my brain or my mother coughing and me not know what to do to help her but timing is always going by and as it does, I will soon enter year 10 and forced to think about future aspects of my life. Holidays have just started and already, I'm worried.
Damn the teachers for telling us to think about it over the holidays but then, I guess they wish the best for their students and are hopeful for them.
I don't know, I feel like I know so much but then so little.
I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that a small ripple in the pond can create a wave.

Now, I ask myself ... what was the point of writing in this? Was it suppose to make me feel any better?
*sighs*
I give up on the matter of the journal.