Well, it looks like I am failing on keeping my promises in writing in this journal continuously. Lately, I also failed to keep promises to myself.
Looking back now, it feels like yesterday. Here, this, typing away a promise full of possibilities for this year. I feel, though I made some progress, I have not made enough. I suppose I was hoping for a change to come and evolve me into something better. That change, still to this day, has not occurred. Maybe there is something I need to do, something that is supposively the key to unlocking what I so desperately need. However, as much as I wished that this obstacle has no relations to myself entirely, I now realized that there is no "made" key, for I am the key...As well as the lock.
These cobwebs are not as bad on this journal as it was last time. For once, I am writing more than once in a year. Halloween has just passed, the weather is now becoming cooler, more quiet, more fragile...I love it. I love every minute of it, yet anticipated for warmth. A warmth from a different source than from Mother Nature. I never felt more alive than I did ever before. I am one year older, but the rest of me is still the same, frozen in time for a little more. I'm quite nervous, anxious, yet excited on what tomorrow holds in store for me. However, tomorrow never comes, neither is it promised. So I must be thankful for what I have, what I am today.
I still have lessons to learn and lessons that may need to be taught. There is so much more I want to do, what I want to go through before I can finally say 'That's it. I'm done.'
As far as I know, there is hope for me yet. I finally broke the once-a-year journal writing chain. [Chuckles]
Until our next meeting.
Good day to you,
Lai
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Pandora's Box
"It was her curiousity that opened and released the chaos of evil..." Thoughts, dreams, and the daily life of this soul.
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Akio Lailie
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