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Gone By Sunrise
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>__>!
I haven't made a journal entry in a few days so here's an 'update'.

I didn't get to go and hang out with Jennifer yesterday because her uncle died of cancer early Friday morning and they had the service yesterday. We could've hung out today, but I decided to just give her some space, y'know?
I've never been all that great at comforting people, anyway.
But! We're planning on hanging out next weekend so maybe things will go nicely this time.

Another thing that happened is that I took my mom to the Emergency room because she's been having severe ear pain. The doctor said it seems like an inflamed nerve, but he recomended that she go to an ear specialist. When she called to see when she could get an appointment, she was told that she would have to wait until the 19th and that's too long for her to wait so she called another one, and she managed to get an appointment this coming up Tuesday. She is taking some ear drops now but I have to help because it hurts her so much to put them in and it's easier to have someone else put the drops in really fast. The drops are put in about four times a day four drops at a time. I feel so bad for her. I can't wait until they find out what's wrong.. ;-;

And the last thing that happened is that, I got a hair cut.
Not really special, but I like it. I haven't had my hair this short since ninth grade.
I wasn't planning on getting it cut this short, but my sister gets scissor happy when she gets around my hair.
x__x;

And that pretty much sums things up.



Oh!
I got bored and so I made this:
User Image

That's the end result of boredom+missing someone alot+ not being very skillful.
Although, I love it.
>__>





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I watched a music video for this one song that I read a long time ago but this one had subtitles so I could actually understand the lyrics and they're absolutely beautiful. n~n
Just wanted to share that..I'll post the lyrics in either this entry, or just make an entire new entry.




Gone By Sunrise
Community Member
dev1



Gone By Sunrise
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2 comments
Life ******** sucks..

How can it be possible for someone to be on top of the world one day, only to have it all fall down around you the next?
It hurts so much even when you're just sitting someplace, not doing a thing.
And the tears..the tears just won't stop coming.
I really wish they would.





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Why must I be so paranoid?
Why do I worry so much?
God, it sucks so much.
Maybe it's because I'm still insecure?
I dunno.
I just want to get rid of all the doubts that pop into my head and the feeling that I experience when a certain name or person is brought up or mentioned.

I'm worried about that because when I've gotten that bad feeling for someone while in a relationship before, they usually had a part in the ending of my relationship.
It's quite possible that it's just a psychological thing but what if it's not?
Suppose it is intuition or something, what the hell can I do?
I love him with all my heart yet it's possible that something is going to happen and there's nothing I can do about it.




Gone By Sunrise
Community Member
dev1



Gone By Sunrise
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Another friday night/evening alone, at home..


Although I'm alone I don't really mind right now. :]
I just keep thinking of next weekend because I'm planning on going out and hang with some friends of mine.
My friend Jennifer told me today through e-mail that we should take some pictures too, so I'm like "YAY!!! Let's totally do that!" even though I'm not attractive and I hate getting my picture taken, it's alot easier for me to smile when I'm around my friends.
It's been a year and some odd months since I went and actually hung out with anyone so this is going to be really fun and I'm going to get more excited as it grows closer to that time.

I know it probably seems really lame of me to be so happy over something like this but my parents use to be uber uptight and would never let me out of the house unless my eldest brother or sister was with me.
That was when I was in school and a little after I graduated.
But they've actually became lenient and they allow me to go out but I didn't have anything to do or anywhere to go. It sucked.
My friends and I kinda lost contact after graduation but luckily I was able to re~establish a connection.
My mom knows my friend Jennifer and our moms use to talk alot but after school ended, they also never got the chance to talk much with the exception of one or two times while at the store.
It'll be so great to actually get out of the house and be able to have some fun.
Spending pretty much all day in the house, practically every day, does eventually start wearing on a person.
I probably don't even know what the heck I'll do when I'm on my way to go chill with them. xD
Anyhoo, I'll go ahead and end this entry, bai~bai!<3





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Spiffyness!
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Thanks, `B e a u t i f u l!




Gone By Sunrise
Community Member
dev1



Gone By Sunrise
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Gah, oh my God. >__<
I'm so freakin' mad at myself.
I was planning on posting a conversation between Chris and I in here, but I forgot to save it and when he left, I closed the IM box. s**t. Gah. ._.
This sucks. Really bad. ;-;
It was a good conversation, too.
I knew I should've went ahead and saved it when I thought about it. Oh, well.
There's nothing I can do about it now.

Aside from this mishap, I've had a pretty good day. It's really warm out today and this morning I woke up with a huge smile on my face because of it, there are other reasons but still.
Raaaawr. >__>
I love him so much.
And the thing is, I'm not all that obsessing over him.
If we were dating like, eight months ago I would be freaking out over the fact he goes out so much, and would probably accuse him of already cheating on me.
It helps to have changed, and it helps that he's so freaking honest. I love it.
Well, I kind of just forgot what I was going to type, so I'll stop for now and maybe come back and add some more.
Bai-bai!





3 comments
About time I actually made a real entry. ^^;

Anyway, it's around 7:05 p.m-ish here and I'm listening to "Overloved" by Paula DeAnda while thinking of quite a few things as I listen to the lyrics.
They're really sweet but they're kind of making me a little more sad than I already am.

I'm really missing Chris right now and I can't help but wonder how much fun he's having. It must be fun to have a life like he does, I'm happy for him but at the same time I'm envious.
I don't think it's fair for me to be jealous of him but I really can't help it, but that's not a reall good excuse is it?
-Sighs.- Story of my life. Excuses and empty promises and dreams.
I get so hyped up when I start thinking of all the things I want to do and who I want to be, but there's my inability to go after it.
Frustrating s**t.
Deep down I'm such a terribly miserable person and it shows too often than what I like but Chris never points it out, aside from a few times.
It's worse when I start thinking about how lucky he is to be able to go and do things with friends. Maybe I could do the same, but I'm far from a social butterfly.
I guess you could call me a society-fearing catipillar, or something along those lines.
I've yet to start the metamorphisis and it sucks.
Why can't I be all cute/beautiful/attractive and be quite the graceful, confident, social elitist like he deserves?
Maybe I could be that someday and then whenever another girl tries to flirt with him and gets denied, I can retaliate in a witty manner when she tries to insult me.
Heh, what are the chances of that happening though, seriously.

Oh gosh, tears are actually in my eyes now. ^^;
How pathetic of me to get so emotional just typing about my issues.
I suppose I'll end this entry before I get worse and too self-pitying.
Thank you for reading whoever you are, take care.
-End.-




Gone By Sunrise
Community Member
dev1



Gone By Sunrise
Community Member
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I made my journal today to just put in this really cute avatar I made while playing with Tek Tek.
^__^;

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Item List:
#603913 Complex Jacket
Berry Snug Lacy Leggings
Black Leather Belt
Brownie Shoes with Loose Socks
CoCo Kitty Plushie
Emo Glasses
Fitted Mustard Tshirt
Gold Winter Wrap
Light Tanbark Leg Warmers
MoMo the Monkey
Wooden Paintbrush






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