Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

A place to think
Just random things of thought
I can tell you about my life, yet most of it is long forgotten. The dark shadows have stormed my mind, and taken over it like it was some country that had been just discovered. The nerves in my body have been keeping my hairs on the back of my neck stand up every time I enter a store or bank, yet I do not remember why. Even though I spent most of my life trying to figure out why my face is seen on every news channel and want ads; I did nothing wrong. I could keep telling you that, yet you would most likely push me to one side of the street; unsure where you have seen my face before. I can not tell you enough that I have never done anything wrong. This all came up after Mr. Donner’s Use Book Store closed up.
Mr. Donner; as most say is a swell guy even though after the shop had open; it closed in the matter of months. No one ever knew why, he just seemed to pack up and leave. The store was closed for a few days before anyone noticed and started to look for the lush eyed man. After a few days of looking they gave up and said he moved away because his wife and children were no where to be seen.
A few days before that, I recall going to the fine cardboard box store; the gray half-circled lettering titling the pasty white and green warehouse would be welcoming in the sunlight and dance in the moonlight. The window had candle light shinning through it onto the wooden walkway; sending a daylight glow to the friendly area. Bookracks were put against the walls and the book cover’s were able to been seen from the walkway.
Mr. Donner’s giant frame shadowing the corner behind lines of books towering upwards; each book placed biggest to smallest as it rose up and barely touch the colorless ceiling that had gloomy rain clouds, which stared down at the rows of never ending books and Mr. Donner.
Everyone was normally in bed around the time when I was walking down the dust road. Walking passed the empty pub and the ma and pa pizza joint. Even though it was close to midnight everyone seemed to have gone home. The friendly street which was once alive and awake; now lonely like a child without any friends in the corner of the playground, only my soul walked along the eerie streets to the book store.
Every step I took seemed heavier on the brick road. Wind hissed across my shoulders; the short indigo trench coat swayed over my light blue bellbottoms I have been wearing. Each curl of my dark brown hair crossed my lips and snowflake eyes.
As I made it to the door, my hand pressed against the green paint that lay against it. A tick-tack-toe window was placed in the middle above the handle. In the middle, of the board a sign was sited and the red lettered word Open was engraved across it.
Grabbing the frostbitten handle in my sweaty palms, my heart started racing for no reason. I slammed the door open, the brass bells that hung above the door rang like they were long forgotten about. The door banged against the wall leaving an imprint of the handle, before it slowly came back to me. Propping it open with my right hand as I stared into the room; waiting for Mr. Donner to look up from the book he was studying.
The over powering smell of jasmine incense moved along the walls from the burning stick that had a light powder over it. The smoke arose from it as if it was a road twisting and turning upwards and soon disappearing into the shadows. There was an artistic piece that held the stick, it was flat and rose slightly upwards like a ski slope. The artistic piece that held the stick was a dark brown with crystal shooting stars a lining the piece. A sun sat on top of the slope of the piece; the sun’s mouth had a hole in it to hold the stick.
"Jeanette?" The words came so clearly as his eyes cast to me away from his book.
Delight was written in his eyes. As he said my name, it stumbled over his lips as if he had said it so often, as if it was an honor to say it.
Quietly I stepped in, closing the door behind me as he stood and moved closer. I could hear him speak my name again, yet the question mark still lingered in the hot air around us. Turning to him my face coming to his chest, my nose barely touching the beefy torso of his that was wrapped under a red shirt. My eyes slowly walked up to his cleft chin and to those lips; that were slightly parted from speaking my name.
His strong arms folded around me, pulling me close. His wedding ring pressed against my lower back. That golden band that had kept us away from each other for so long made the lustful power gave us an even more determined urge to be together. We would be together forever or at least that was what he said. Yet I heard him say something about him leaving his wife once to many times. The woman that held us together, but pushed us apart like she was his father or mine. I never believed a word he said, I only enjoy him for reason I dare not to say.
My heart started to race once again; it pounded so hard against my chest, it felt as if it could escape and run off to somewhere unsurely. The powerful chin of his sat on top of my head, and his warm breath pressed down against my hair making it frizz to places unknown.
Muscle’s slowly started to melt into the floor and between the cracks, leaving only my skin to drool over his arms. My face pressed against his chest with rosy cheeks and a burning nose. Hot breath that warmed his shirt gently swam back to me, and relaxed against my cheeks again.
We had left the store, in fear that his wife would have seen us together. The Charles Angel woman, who had wrinkles kiss her forehead in stress from their three children. Those pressed lips (I never seen her smile before) and redden cheeks made anyone’s heart sink in knowledge as if you have done something wrong. She walked with her hands on her hips at all times. Her shrieking voice could have been heard up and down the roads of this brilliant town. Sometimes they had to turn off the radio programs just because she was yelling at the kids. Yet Mr. Donner’s was different, and that was why I had to take him to my house and show him the true me.
Once we made it to the yellowish painted ranch of mine, standing there with our arms around each other; my stomach started to swim along to river of blended passion and fear. Something in my mind was trapped with uncertainty. The mind bending ghastly fear that could have been told wasn’t really there. The hairs on the back of my neck started to rise as if it was the morning sun welcoming the day. My body started to shack in lusty chill; after that it was just a blur.
Smudge of my past that disappeared in the darkness like the rest of it; as if one minute was day and the next was night. As if it was that nightmare that disappears when you wake in the nervous cold sweat of shallow darkness; the confusing compound of mix pictures and rash feelings, still awaits me in every dream.
Now I am sitting in my home, with my graying hair and squinting sliver eyes. No children or grandchildren to call my own, or husband or someone to grow old with. Just empty walls that shadows dance upon in the midnight flames of meaninglessness. The stairs to my storage space, where I left him so many years ago has never been open since Mr. Donner’s move. The whispers of youth sometimes still lights these darken rooms. Unsurely… Unsurely I could never tell you anything, my mind has gone to waste in the darkness of forgotten.
My ghost had haunted this empty home many times before, and they still never find him up against the floor. His dark red shirt had a hole. The nice torso of his was removed from the ribs to his hips and just above his spine. The clean white bones of his spine had a dark circle of shattered dreams in the middle of it. That slug butt was still standing at end; taking its bow to the coward clapping for the life it had taken away.
Dust had came and lingered on his ribs and cheeks. The dark blue bellbottoms were hack along his inner thighs and the once red hot and sticky goop stained the lines around it. Those grassy green eyes were rolled back so only white will show. Those long lashes that were contacted to his eyes lids; which were missing.
The handsome chin and his jaw was still slightly open as if was whispering my name.

I want input. Yes I know it's not my finest. But input is nice





Swing-dancer-Allie
Community Member
Swing-dancer-Allie
Prev | Next»
Archive | Home

  • [04/10/08 12:54am]
  • [04/03/08 09:18pm]
  •  
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Offers
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games
    Mini-Games
    Play with GCash
    Play with Platinum