The Very Strange Diary of Alyssa Thomas
My characters (TekTek-ed)
Alyssa Thomas
Gray Ironheart
Arieliana Darling
Wendy Nightshade
Chapter One
Buses, right? You wait 5 minutes, two come along; you wait 10 minutes, you get teleported to another world by a beam of light.
All right, so that wasn't much of an introduction. Let's start from the top. My name is Alyssa Thomas, I'm 14 and I was named after an actress my Dad fancied. I was just an ordinary 14-year old who cared about soap operas, went to a lousy school and wore an itchy cardiagn to hide the curry stains on her blouse until all this happened. I was on my way home from school, waiting for a bus, wondering what I was going to do instead of homework when there was a flash of light. Next thing I know, I'm in a quaint, medieval village surrounded by the weirdest people I've ever seen. The whole village seemed to be be out of their houses, all of them staring at me. It probably didn't help that I was on a kind of raised platform in the very middle of the village. But it was about to get so much better, trust me.
"This girl is the Warrior of Light!" squawked the old woman, pointing a shrivelled, bony finger at me.
I was just as bewildered as you would be. One moment, I'm at a bus stop, the next, I'm in a horrible fantasy village. And I'm being accused of something already!
Now, what I wanted to do was scream somthing, I'm not sure what, but something. But I couldn't. It took me a few seconds to realise this but, I had no voice. I could say anything or make any noise and I began to panic slightly. This was apprently obvious from my facial expressions.
"This girl has No Voice! She truly is the the Warrior of Light!" the old woman turned to face several people as she revealed this seemingly mystical development.
"But the Warrior of Light is always a man, This girl is clearly a girl." said a soldier I hardly even notice until now.
"Stunning observation," I thought. I wish I could've said it. Oh, what I would've given to be able to speak right then.
"Let us settle this," the old bat was speaking again. "Enter your name."
She was looking at me. Everyone was looking at me. I was against giving my name out to complete strangers but the whole freaky village was eyeballing me. I didn't want to die just yet so I complied. The old woman was holding a tray of sand, so I fingered my name in.
"Alyssa!" she squawked holding hers hands up walking in circles, looking at other villagers. "Her name is Alyssa."
All right, this was becoming too weird for me, but strangely enough, I found myself to be surprisingly calm. But wait, I'm leaving out the best part. See, I just landed in the village and only knew I was on a kind of raised platform. I didn't think to look behind me...
"Let us check the Tablet of Heroes, Gods and Legends!" cried the soldier man re-entering the frey.
I'm guessing it wasn't alphabetized becuase they took ages. Long enough for me to get a load of some of the villagers: a gaggle of gossiping housewives with the exact same hairstyle, a steely-eyed bald man with a bushy moustache, two near-identical blonde girls, one short, one tall. This was quite the bunch. My fascination was intterupted by squawking once more.
"It is here," she waved frantically, like there were ants crawling on her arms, as she said this "Her name is on the Tablet! She named Alyssa after the Goddess of Truth and Beauty."
"Then it is settled," said the barely existant soldier. "I hereby recognize you as a Warrior of Light."
And that's how I became known as a Warrior of Light. At first, there was murmuring and whispering but then the commotion died down. The villagers started scuffling about and then just continued with whatever they were supposed to be doing. So I stood there, barely grasping what just happened, wondering what to do next. I thought maybe I'd ask someone, then I realised I couldn't so that made my todo list painfully obvious.
The only people still around me were the old woman, the soldier and a guy dressed in robes who just stood next to the Tablet saying nothing. I doubted his usefulness, and the soldier's usefullness while I'm at it, which just left the witch, who I really didn't want to listen to. As if she heard my thoughts, the old woman looked straight at me and pointed to a gate leading out of the village.
"Go there to find your Voice, O Warrior," I had no idea what was going on, probably because I don't read enough fantasy novels, but I decided I would follow the old woman's advice.
Somehow, though, I just knew this would be a mistake.
Chapter Two
So I go to see the soldier guarding the gate, who looks exactly like that other guard, and he stops me dead n my tracks. Of course, I can't say anything to him so I'm stuck standing there like an idiot.
"You cannot enter the Waterfall Path without protection," he said after an unbearably long silence.
Now what? I'm in a strange land surrounded by people I don't know that I can't even talk to and I'm utterly lost. So I wander around the village looking for a twig or rock heavy enough to knock the guard out, when there's more mumbling from villagers. My heart went crazy, I thought maybe someone else had been teleported here. I rushed to the source, I had to know what was going on.
It was not, to my dismay, another victim plucked from my world, but was in fact a mother and son arguing. Do these villagers get anything done? Or is everyday is sopa opera and mother-son arguments are a sight to behold?
"Gray, my son," the mother said full of drama. "Are you you safe? Are you not unwell?"
Wait. Are you not-? How does that even make sense!?
"Yes, mother, I am well," said her son. His name is Gray, which is a funny name for someone completely decked out in green.
"Where is it then?" her tone changed fast. Really fast. "You are in full health and have returned without your father's sword?"
"Mother... let me explain." Gray began but got no more out.
"I don't want an explaination! I want a proper son who is strong, and brave, like his father was!" she began to trail off as villagers began to lose interest. I took it to mean this kind of confrontation happened a lot. "You spent, what? Four months in Olia Forest and you can't even bring back the one treasure I have to remember your father by!? Your father was brave, strong, handsome and..."
Man, if only my family was this screwy. The only arguments that go on a my house are 'where's the remote for the telly?' and 'who hid daddy's keys?'. They sound positively mundane compared to 'why haven't you found daddy's lost sword in a, no doubt, creepy forest yet?'. Actually, they sound pretty mundane anyway. My interior monologue distracted me from the crazy mother's heart-toheart with her son which suddenly involved me.... Wait! What!?
"You," she was staring at me. For how long, I can only imagine. "Are you not the Warrior of Light?"
Am I not what? I am beginning to hate this 'olde' speak. Am I not - do I nod or shake? Nod or shake? I'm gonna nod.
"I see," he tone became friendly again. I had guessed right, go Alyssa! "Gray, you will act as this girl protectors and bodyguard on her mission."
"Yes, mother." He said through gritted teeth. I think he was actually listening to his mother's rant. Too bad.
Hold on a second, when did I get a mission!? Is it get back to my planet, eat dinner and pretend this never happened!? I want my voice back.
We stood there, staring at one another while everyone cleared away. I tried to look as apathetic as possible. Somehow, he sussed me.
"We should get you to to the Mystic Waterfall so you can get your voice back," he pointed to the doofy soldier guarding the gate.
We began walk there and I got to thinking again. You know why I hate it here? Everyone knows too much. You have a problem and every single person you meet already knows and has the solution for you! It's like you don't even need a voice!
We arrived at the gate, the soldier nodded to Gray and the opened up the gate. I reckon I could've knocked him out cold with my schoolbag, let alone a rock. Beyonf the gate was ridiculous. It was like something out of a fairy tale. There were rows and rows of tiny trees the surrounded the path to a miniature mountain. All I needed was a choir of goblins to make the image complete. Sadly, we arrived with no sign of goblins.
The mini-mountain had a door, so it was more like a cave. Back home, we would be afriad of bears and hobos living here. In this world, who knows what could be considered a threat!? Gray tapped me on the back and motioned me inside.
"I'm not allowed inside, so you'll have to go on your own," he gave a thumbs up. "I'll wait here for you though."
That won't help when I ripped to bits by dragons, bears, hobos and goblins though, will it? I plucked up my courage and stepped inside the dark cave. I walked only a few steps before I started hearing running water. This tunnel I was travelling in was pretty narrow and it was pitch black and the only thing running through my head is 'how am I going to get back out of here?'. I continued to follow the winding tunnel of nuttines until it abruptly stopped, in front of a giant, gloawing waterfall. Oh, and there was a sign next to it that said 'Mystic Waterfall' in case you hadn't guessed.
"Greetings, Warrior of Light," I refused to believe a waterfall was talking to me so I'll just say: a voice said. "Step into the circle."
A glowing, magic circle appeared right before the waterfall. I did as the voice asked and stepped into the circle.
"Now," the voice began again and this is where it get's silly. "Now..., uh, which is it..."
There was a loud clicking noise and suddenly, all the water stopped revealing a man in a chair behind the waterfall. I knew a waterfall wasn't talking to me! Even in the darkness he could look the irritation on my face.
"All right, I'm not the Mystic Waterfall, I'm his fill-in, Dungeon Keeper," this was making no sense to me. "Ah, look. I'll give you your voice back."
He snapped his fingers and my throat felt funny, like I'd swallowed an ice-cube. I coughed a bit then yelled "Idiot!"
"Hey, at least that works, right?" the Dungeon Keeper said. "You caught up a bit off-guard, O Warrior. Usually, Warriors of Light only appear every 500 or 1000 years. It's only been 23 years since our last Warrior."
"What does that mean?" I had to ask.
"Well," he began. "Either someone's up to no good and has brought you into our world for no reason..."
"Probably that," I mumbled to myself.
"Or," he continued. "We may actually need a hero and you specifically, to save our world from an unknown danger."
"Not... bloody... likely..." I answered, oh so sure of myself. "This is obviously a big mistake so how do I get back home?"
"Well, you've been recognized as a Warrior of Light," whatever he was about to finish this sentance with was gonna be bad. "So, you'll have to complete 7 Heroic tasks to be able to see the Fairy Queen. She'll be able to grant one wish to a True Hero."
"Terrific. I'll be on my way then." I marched off, back through the winding tunnel of insanity without looking back once.
I can talk now, I thought. Foolishly, I might add. So, maybe people like the witch can help me. Oh optimism, how you always let me down.
As I cam out of the cave I was greeted by Gray, whose name I actually forgot.
"Hey, thanks for waiting for me." I said, skilfully avoiding his name. Then, it hit me. "I'm Alyssa, by the way."
"Oh, I'm Gray," he replied. "You don't seem like much of a Hero, if you don't mind me saying."
That prompted a middling-to-long conversation about how I'm not a Hero, it's probably someone's idea of a joke and I have to perform 7 acts of Heroism to go back home.
"That's terrible," he said regarding my acts of Heroism. "Most Heroes only ever manage to perform 3 acts of Heroism."
"Oh, that's just great!" That was just what I wanted to here. We approached the gate with the feather-brained guard. I was about to complain about the new information when more pressing matters interupted.
"The Princess of Glyphtopia is missing," said the guard.
"Oh," I retorted to Gray. "Is it 'slice the fruitcake' time again?"
He didn't respond, so either he didn't get it or this kind of nonsense happened a lot. I made my way up to the old witch by the Tablet and this is what she said:
"The Princess is missing, the King is distressed."
"Gray..." I was very becoming confused and angry, not a good combination. "What is going on?"
Gray sighed and said "Where do I begin?"
