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In all honesty I don't know what I'm doing. I keep just suddenly snapping. One minute I'm alright and want to be around people, then one thing is said or done and I'm completely not alright. This has been going on for probably 4 nights now and just seems to be worsening. I don't know how to exit the spiral, and other influences aren't helping anymore. Things aren't the same, my mind is crashing. It's a s**t hole. I had a dream a few nights ago that my partner found someone better than myself. At the rate I'm going at I'll probably make that true. What if I grow old on him? I know he's better than that, but he is also only human. He can only handle so much before he just blows it off when I lose it. I don't want to give up though. If I wanted to give up I would. I got close to giving up but knew I'd regret it. I don't want to hurt him though or myself, and right now I'm really hurting myself. Why I have suddenly become an emotional wreck, I have little clue. It's possible that my roommate just finally broke me. I really don't know. I didn't like her saying things won't work out with me and him because we went into a relationship fast and for one of us it's a first time relationship, the other a first in a long time relationship.
I'm also sick of her talking about her ******** crush. She needs to get over him damnit. I'm sick of hearing about him all the time when he's someone who certainly doesn't deserve her praise.
Anyways that only came up because I got interrupted in a post about that stupidity. I don't know what to do anymore about my relationship. I'm sick of hurting, and I'm sick of hurting others. Now how do I fix it when I'm a ******** wreck?