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God i don't know what is wrong with me i feel like i'm a ghost walking through the halls at school. No one really sees me or pays attention. The people who do pay attention only ask if i'm ok. Yes yes i'm ok, i just want to feel real sometimes. That's the best way i could put it, is that i don't feel alive or even that it's me in my body. Who am i anyway? I've always looked in the mirror and never been able to answer that question because the only thing staring back is a stranger with a quizzical look on his face. Maybe it's all the changes i've made, there's been a lot of them. I've been worked harder than i ever have in my life in these last few years, not physically. It's just confusing to me. Nothing is really wrong i'm just becoming more apathetic than usual and she hates it. It seems like now that she's getting to know me she doesn't like a lot of things about me. So what? Maybe i am a little more emotional than other guys, maybe i'm not that knight in shining armor you thought i was. I feel like i can't make her happy anymore. I don't know maybe i'm just being stupid it's not unusual for me. A quick are you ok and when i say yes you turn away frustrated like i'm not telling you something. I tell you everything i've told you this before that i'm a pathetic person, but you tell me i'm not. I feel just... not myself. Like that person in the mirror is just taking things day by day for me. I want to wake up from the coma that i seem to be in, but it's hard when no one tries to shake you awake.





beleted409
Community Member
beleted409
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  • [03/08/10 08:19pm]
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