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I get to go home in about a month and a half, but I can't stand it here anymore! On New Year's Eve, I got drunk all by myself, and it was a blast! It is fun by yourself, because even if you are an idiot, no one is around to watch. xd
 RaistlinsMistress · Mon Jan 17, 2005 @ 07:45pm · 0 Comments |
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My stepmom thinks Pokemon are evil demons! HA!!! xd
RaistlinsMistress · Thu Dec 30, 2004 @ 09:09pm · 0 Comments |
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I quit Hastings today. I didn't not want them to fire me, and it is inevitable that it would have happened, because I kept getting the till off, and they said they would train me, but they don't train anyone there like they should. I knew they were going to be too busy to train me, and I would have just messed up again and been fired. So, instead of having a black mark on my good record, I just decided to quit. I am happy that I made this decision.
RaistlinsMistress · Tue Dec 21, 2004 @ 11:50pm · 0 Comments |
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Today I just feel as if I can't do anything. I have gotten my second short till, and if I get a third one, I will get fired. I almost know for certain that it is bound to happen. I won't be working there for long. I thought I was doing good after my first one, and then disaster struck again. I am not good with money. Why do all the damn jobs have to deal with working on the registry! I can't do it! I don't wanna go back there knowing that I will fail yet again, and just get fired anyway! I haven't even gotten my first paycheck yet! I was so happy about getting this job, and I still love Hastings as a store, but I just can't stand not having a chance there. I am still new! They must fire a lot of new people if you only get three strikes and you are out! I just hate money! I just want to crawl into a dark corner and stay there, where no one can bother me. I want so bad to go home and be with my mom and my sister. She is doing far better than me right now. She is making a lot of money, and she is happy doing it. She doesn't have to deal with people or money, just a nice old lady, AND she gets to work with mom. Why does it seem that good things happen to her? I love her, and I am not jealous, or I try not to be, but I cannot think of one bad thing that has happened to her. I just wanna get out of this chaotic stress and confusion, and I wanna be in my mom's arms. I miss her sooo much! Rhonda is just too much for me, I can't handle her. I can't go back to my grandparents place because there is nothing to do over there, although I would much rather do nothing than what I am doing right now. I am starting to dread going to work because of what may happen at the end of the day. Tomarrow, I am going to be so scared! And if all goes well tomarrow, it may not be so for the next day, or the day after that. I thought I was doing good with all of this money stuff! Why did it have to happen? Why did any of this have to happen? I remember when I used to hate school so much, and I now I just wish I was back there. At least I didn't have to worry about getting fired for such a stupid cause and at least I had friends to support me when times were rough. It almost feels fake when Dad or Rhonda comfort me. My heart breaks when I say that. I love my Dad, and he is getting more sensitive to these things. But my Mom is the deepest person I know. I love her so much and I wish I could be with her all the time like Alicia is. She is so lucky to have her with her. It just isn't fair! I feel as if I lost my mom, my sister and my life. I have to work all the time now, and for what??!! Just to get fired after I mess up on a few frigging dollar bills. I hate this! DAMMIT! I wanna shoot something!!!! scream scream stressed stressed
I wanna be a kid again. It is almost Christmas too! Why!!! I just wish that I had nothing to worry about ever again, no responsibilities. Lord, I love you, and I know I should be looking to You for help, and I am trying to, but it seems like nothing good is going to happen! I just wanna be somewhere else and never come back to all of this crap! It is too much to bear!
RaistlinsMistress · Tue Dec 21, 2004 @ 07:04am · 0 Comments |
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