Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

The Crazy Joker's Rants
Struggling with another bout of depression..finding it hard to even talk to people. I don't know if any of you who have suffered with depression suffer the same way I do, but if so, I am truly sorry. Its a voice in my head, demeaning and demoralizing me 24/7. Everyday I try to come to terms with my perpetual solitude..sometimes i think I've finally learned my lesson and will accept my lonliness, but then I make the same stupid mistake as before, I trust, I open myself, and once again, my heart is torn to pieces...I wonder If I will ever truly accept the fact I am meant to be alone, and I wonder when I will finally give up and end my struggling..but I guess I will never know. Even though every fiber of my soul says to give up, lay down and stop, I cant. I can't give up, no matter how painful, so my life will be filled with emptiness and solitude..I guess this is the Life of a champion huh? I won Nationals for powerlifting, Im ranked #1 in the world for my age and weight, and even with that I cant be happy. I would give up every shread of athletic ability and achievment to just feel for a day what it feels like to have someone truly love me..to bad thats not how life works. Had to vent, and seeing as I have no one to talk to in person, why not just put it on the internet where no one will care or read it. I just want it to end..I want everything to end...

Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum