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Yeah my knuckles just stopped bleeding so I thought I'd try writing again. My first attempts were ridiculously stupid.

Last night was funny tiering and upsetting. I can't go into detail. But I was talking with Steven.

And it's funny because he asked me a funny question. That I studerd out an answer out to.
"Were Did I see myself 10 years from now?"
And I said "hopefully over there with you." which isn't exactly what sounded right... because I dunno... I do really wanna be with him. Then he asked
"Well what do you want to be to me?"
Corse I studderd like a fool... *blushes* I umm... I don't know how to say it exactly, but I wanna be his wife, his lover, friend, sister... anything he needs. I don't wanna force myself on him. I'm not gonna ask. I just wanna be his everything, everything he wants. I wanna make him happy.

A question though. Why on earth does it matter if I wanna marry him or not? It's nice to know for him but... if I tell him how much I love him then I just look like every other girl stringing together pretty words just to woo him. When it's not true. those other girls can find someone else they like as much as him. Yeah I've had a few resonantly that have come up to me and said they like/love me. Not like I don't like them back but my feelings don't compare! not by a long shot. even when I fell for tiff was it this strong. No matter who I date it won't be the same. maybe just enough but it won't be the same.

I gotta go for now. I hope this sounds alright my comp shut down a lot while writing this.
Love
Megan

Please this is not a cry for help this is just something to get offa my chest.