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Santa Claus has an evil twin named Goinsaket. He is an evil, evil, evil person. He is so evil, that evil would whack itself with an evil stcik to make itself more evil, and he'd still be more evil than that. He stabs policemen with spiders, for swimming in a lake he doesn't even own. Santa's elves have to routinely battle his evil army of brine shrimp, who are so evil, they eat evil things to make themselves more evil, and they're still not as evil as themselves. He has a sleigh equipped with ketchup cannons, which are so evil, they need a page in the dictionary dedicated to how evil they are.