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Chuck Norris Facts

I know that this is necessarily recent, but I love them. These are all the appropriate ones, and some edited to make them appropriate.



1. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

2. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

3. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

4. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

5. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

6. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

7. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

8. Chuck Norris can speak braille.

9. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.