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Habits and scissors.
Everyone has a habit, whether it's biting there nails or chewing on a pencil. Some are a bit more violent and harmful like cutting are wrist or doing drugs. Mine, has more to do with my hair. I don't bit it or chew on it or knot it like some people do with there hair, I just cut it. Every time I see a pair of scissors I just want to cut something, so I cut my hair. Not in big chunks or anything. In fact I can do it for hours and no one will know, I just cut hair by hair, millimeter by centimeter or what ever length I choice. I don't know why I do it, I just do. I see a pair of scissors, a pair of shiny metal scissors and I can't help but to pick them up and marvel at their keen blade. I just want to cut something, anything. My hair. just a little bit off one or two. Snip Snip. Just a couple more. Snip Snip. Next thing I know my lap and shirt is covered in bits of my hair, and it has been an hour or two has one by. No one notice, since it is only a little bit, it's the same except it is a little matted at the bottom, which is normal now. Why do I do this? It dosent accomplish anything, and unlike most habits, it's not related to grooming and dosent make me feel good. In fact I don't feel anything. Maybe it's just something to do while doing nothing. Something to get that constant voice of ' This needs to be done' and 'Why aren't you doing anything' or 'get something done now!" to stop, and still do nothing and relax. It does seem relaxing though, yet odd. Why is it relaxing to cut away a part of me? How come every time I have a pair of scissors, I just want to cut it off? Though it's not just scissors now, if I don't have a pair of scissors for a bit, I just start to pull it off, bit by bit, but that's not often, since I have a pair of scissors in my desk and in my backpack or tote bag or what ever I am carrying that day. I remember hear one time that your hair is just the thread spun from your dreams. Why am I so addicted to cutting away a part of me?
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