First, the story that was earlier taking up posting space will be finished... sometime in the next century. I'm too lazy to go do it now. But who cares cuz no one really read it ever so it's cool.
Also, I've been doing much lately, well, not much, but I do have a long explanation for my absence so get ready.
On Wednesday (last Wed. not yesterday), I went to the library cuz I had 4 books to check out. Those were: Tantalize, A Great and Terrible Beauty, Undine, and Avielle of Rhia. Commentary on those is necessary because I wouldn't have cut out gaia for so many days for no reason.
I read Tantalize on Wednesday and it was pretty cool. It was my favorite kind of story (the whole "boy/girl relationship" thing). It was also about vampires and werewolves so it was really cool. It was YA but it made a lot of remarks about sex and stuff so it was really funny. And, like, almost everyone dies, so it was actiony all around. Though not really. It was just annoying how everyone just dies. But whoot for the big news that in this book vampires are evil. As opposed to so many books I read where they're not. Lol. It was cool, but like always, had a disappointing end. Or not so much disappointing, but it just needed a sequel. I like books with sequels. This one ended too soon.
So then it was Thursday and I read A Great and Terrible Beauty. It wasn't about vampires but it was about magic and England boarding school stuff, which is one of my favorite things to read, so this book did pretty well by my standards. The characters were awesome but once again, the ending bothered me. But at least it has a sequel which I already have requested so I'm good. It also had more sex innuendo like every corset-wearing, proper-mannered girl should think like back in those times. It was, again, awesome.
So then it's Friday and I read Undine. It was a lot shorter, though, so I was done before lunch. It sucked. It didn't have enough... something to hold it together. But it was my favorite story again (girl/boy thing, with magic!), so I liked it. And it's also good cuz it has a sequel, which I already requested too. So it's cool.
Which leaves me with Avielle of Rhia. I was sick of reading (cuz I spent three days doing that and barely did anything else), and it was also my dad's birthday, so the book was to be put away until later. But then when I did read it a couple of days ago, it was the most boring thing I had ever been through, not to mention that they diss my favorite guy in writing, named Edward, because this character was called Edard (a stupid assimilation) and he's a big meany. Glad he died. Cuz he died only100 pages into the story, I think. I never finished the book. I got sick of reading and so I just turned it in yesterday so I could pick up Pygmalion, an assigned book that is gonna give me much grief. I still haven't even finished 1984 cuz it's such a drag. And so long!
Anyway, continuing my book chat. I love/hate books a lot! I can sit for hours reading, but I get annoyed and have to get up and move around cuz I get restless and bored. And books aren't good enough if it doesn't have the possibility of a sequel. It's like the author got tired of the characters and just didn't want to continue. I hate that. I at least need an epilogue to know how things went on afterward cuz I get really pissed off when things end suddenly. It sucks.
Anyway...
My dad's birthday was a cool one. My brother came with his wife and son to our house and we ate pizza and cake and then we went to the living room to have my dad talk about his life in Cuba. Those are really awesome stories he tells. They're not that funny, but they are cool. Though obviously they shouldn't be funny cuz living in Cuba is a tragedy all the time. But he has really good stories. And I'm proud to say that my dad was a rebel. He was the only one in his community who refused to do what he was told cuz it wasn't right. Cuz the government has no right to do that. (It was a communist government, and still is, so my dad had his reasons). It's hilarious how everyone was so shocked when he actually asked to quit his job. Cuz no one did. But it was a smart move cuz otherwise he would have been screwed by his boss and probably end up in prison (and I don't mean that screwed, so get your head out of the gutter). He did a lot of things and throughout his life, my dad has had many jobs, and one of the most interesting ones is of when he worked at a convent with nuns. That makes for a really funny story. Especially cuz my brother actually got to play in the convent and he was also a trouble-maker. I'm so proud to call him my brother. Heehee. Anyway... the point is that I'm so proud of how my dad has handled his life and he's like a hero to me and someday I will write a book about his life. And it's really weird how he never ended up in jail or got killed by the government cuz he sure had it coming. But he's a smart man who got out when he could.
So that was Friday night.
Well, not all of it. Later on I think I watched A.I. (that Spielberg movie) and I got so depressed. I love that movie but it is so sad. It's one of the very few movies that can make me cry. That and Titanic and Forrest Gump. Which I saw the other day (FG), so I was even more depressed. But actually, it wasn't the movies' fault, it was just that I got really depressed at something. I really wanted to commit suicide. Or at least attempt it so that my parents would realize that I have a serious problem and need psychiatric help but the day that it happens, hell would have frozen over. So I pretty much spent Saturday and Sunday in bed, watching TV or sleeping, crying, and going over in my head how many ways I had failed at life. I still think that I am a complete and utter waste of mass in the universe, but I'm too weak to push the whole knife through my heart, so for now I have to stick it out and see if I can have a piano fall on me or something. I'm in a better mood, though. And I actually thought that that depression I was going through was just PMS but no such luck. Oh well. I guess I can just call myself bipolar or something cuz I'm happy one second and the next I want to jump off a tall building (though if I did and I didn't die from a heart attack before landing, it would really be painful to have to hear my head and spine crack when I land. *shudders*). But my bipolarness is not that great cuz it's slow. It takes too long for me to switch from sad to happy, much like every other mechanism in my body that is just too slow. Like thinking. Or reacting. I can touch a super hot surface but I will actually leave my finger on it for a second too long before I realize it's hot. And for me to come up with answers take forever. It bothers me a lot.
But whatever. My weekend was obscured by suicidal thoughts and my dad trying to give me a pep talk about how he wants me to be someone other than my brother. Cuz he actually thinks it's a good idea to compare me to him. I wish! I'm nothing like my brother. He's a go-getter, a do-er, he actually has strength to do more tahan I will ever do in a lifetime. He has even had a job since he was 14 (not the same one, though). He's good-looking too. Lucky b*****d. And he is a sort of happy person. And the fact that we both share that need to be in the computer for too long a time is not even a good comparison between us. He can do it cuz he's tired after a long days work. I do it cuz I'm too lazy. I don't even deserve to be here at all. Or even have a bed for that matter cuz I haven't done a single thing in my life to deserve it. Which is where my suicidal thoughts come from. The fact that I don't deserve to live.
Ok. Done with the depressed portion of my story. Moving on.
Monday was sort of good. The good thing: Kyle XY. It's my favorite show in all of life and I just can't wait to see what happens next. And the best thing about this last episode? Kyle and Amanda finally kissed! I'd been waiting for so long!!! Mostly since last summer, when the first season aired, and I had to wait a whole year for the second season. Though it's cool. A whole year of school is not that big a bother. But I really love that show though it's gonna suck when the second season ends. Sometime in August I'm expecting. s**t!
On with my love of stuff. I haven't seen much stuff lately, but I still stay up at night to see Inuyasha. I hadn't seen all the episodes yet. And I'm so glad for the other nights cuz those episodes were hilarious!!! The one where Kagome is sick and Inu cares for her and the one where Sota (Kagome's younger brother) reveals his love for this girl at his school. And it was so funny cuz Sota asked Inuyasha for help and it made him so uncomfortable! Poor Inuyasha doesn't know squat about girls. I was laughing my a** off. If it hadn't been 12:30 at night, I would have actually been laughing out loud and rolling on the floor. I had to bite my comforter to keep from screaming. It was the best episode ever! I love Inuyasha. Too bad they put it so late. The best part of the show (other than their funny-ness and drama) is the ending themes. Those are really good cuz Do As Infinity sings and their good! My fav J-Pop band (well, I don't know many others to like those, but yeah...).
Anyway.. almost done with my freakishly long rant on stuff. Now I will mention my crazy as hell dreams that are the only good thing in my life.
The other night I had a dream about Transformers attacking the earth and I was on a beach when that happened. I don't remember much of it but it was cool. And I had two dreams that were gaia-related, but it took gaia and turned it into something in real life. Like if I actually knew these people in real life. It was cool. In one of them there were pirates. And... I can't say more cuz that dream is for me to think about in nights that I can't sleep. cool
So this past... week or so that I was completely off the map was a very... active one for me. I became bipolar, I judged books on the fact that neither of them had a good kissing scene (it's why I read!), and then I got to have more fun with TV and subconsciousness (not to mention that my latest dream was nightmarish cuz my eyes were... kinda... damaged and out of their sockets or something, and something pointy had gone in them... *shudders more*).
So what did I learn from my latest experience? That TV is my only refuge cuz it's the only thing that makes me happy. (And it's really cool cuz I saw "I, Robot" the other night and it was creepy.... but so cool!).
Laterz heart
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