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I might get banned for this, who knows. Don't really care though.

My great announcement and command to all this week is this:
Men need to freaking learn how to have sex.

Cockmanship damn you!

Now I will admit it is partly the fault of girls who fake orgasms, because (girls listen to me) you CAN actually orgasm and you can do it MULTIPLE TIMES and if you don't go and pretend you do then you aren't helping anyone. You have bad sex, and your boyfriend (or husband, or person-you-happen-to-let-screw-you.) thinks they're doing it well and then they wonder why you never have sex with them when you can help it.

Sex can be good, not only can sex be good, sex can be great for the female, helll 75% of the pleasure can be had by the female, if you freaking learn to just say when something works and when something doesn't. Also? This goes against what society says about females, but screw them because if society had it's way females would be sex objects who never had sex.

Figure out what makes you feel good. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, don't pretend you don't. Dicks aren't magic wands, especially when owner of said d**k is all about the 'hump and thrust' of a dog.

We are not dogs, both people can figure out what works.

And, you know, if he isn't listening to you, and if under the porn-driven delusion that "ooh, oh I'm coming, aah!' is an orgasm, tie him up and have your way with him. See how he feels about it. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex, no seriously. Listen to the human sexuality major:

A.) Prayer, natural birth control (counting down the period), soda (yeah that was weird), pulling out really fast, listening to certian music, having insense, denial, and various other folk remedies do not prevent pregnancy. No, no, no they don't. Shut up and listen to me, they don't. If you think they do I will call you something. That something is: Hi mom/dad.

B.) Condoms aren't 100% effective, but wear one, not two, not none, one. ONE. Uno. Two just rips laytex, idiot. IDIOT.
The pill is nice, it can make you moody though. Don't listen to the abstince only people, they will lie to you. Irregular periods my crop. Or use the morning after pill.
You can believe life start at conception, but you're wrong. Life starts when the kid wouldn't naturally abort itself more likely than not. Yeah. Learn about pregnacy. Damn you.

C.) Don't fake a freaking orgasm.

D.) Figure out what a female orgasm LOOKS LIKE. Dear GOD.

E.) Handcuffs are helpful. teach 'em the hard way.

F.) Marriages, despite what many people seem to think is not about emotion, because you'll hit fallow periods, and you hate your partner and you make think you fell out of love, and then realize you were very wrong. Sex, however, can respark things.
It's hard to hate someone who screwed you blind.

I'm going to be banned. I can sense it.

OH WELL.

It's not like I put up diagrams.

-Lady Cyn.