Cheerleaders at football game: We say [my town]! You say Tigers! [my town]!
Me: Ocelots!
Cheerleaders: [my town]!
Me: Ocelots!
Cheerleaders: We say red! You say white! Red!
Me: 3!
(It pretty much went like that for the whole 5 minute cheer...)
Sebastian (as we'll call him): Alright.. So I'm Cheese*points to self*, he's Eggs*points to other guy*, you're Bacon*points to guy next to me*, and here's the almighty Biscuits! *points to me*
Some big kid: And who could forget a side of Donuts?
Me: Where's Tater Tot when you need him?
Teacher: I likes me some mayo on mah tomato.
Girl: Mayonnaise is a sure fire way to get fat.
Me: And just what's wrong with being fat?
Girl: Oh, s***t... You heard that?
Teacher: ...
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Call me Matt.
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