[01] You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

[02] I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!

[03] This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.

[04] Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wetspot.

[05] Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.

[06] That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?

[07] I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby-sitter Tracy.

[08] You're my daddy! You're my daddy!

[09] The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

[10]Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

[11] While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

[12] Bar food again!? Kick a**.

[13] I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

[14] That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

[15] I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.

[16] I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!

[17] Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

[18] I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

[19] It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

[20] Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Sara's bare a**!

[21] My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

[22] I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

[23] Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!

[24] You are so much smarter than my father.

[25] If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.