A million stars and the sound of the ocean we couldn't see and he wanted to know what I thought about God. I was surprised that he was asking, more surprised to realize we'd never talked about it before. Five months, and we'd never talked about it, magically avoiding it without knowing we were avoiding it. We did that.
The stars make me calm I said. Look, there's God. I would have left it at that but he thought I was kidding. And he'd been to college and wanted to win an argument. I didn't say much; then I didn't say anything while he shredded what I'd said, repeated my words with invisible, mean quote marks around them. He laughed at me. His head was in my lap the whole time. I should have slapped him, should have dumped his heavy head in the sand, stolen his keys and run away. At the very least, I should have ended it.
(person) by stand/alone/b***h (3.3 y) (print) ? 1 C! Sun Feb 04 2001 at 19:24:55
I was running away, and I had my parents' permission, and I had my aunt's permission, and I had my manager's permission. They all let me leave for three weeks to 'take some time off'. Three weeks that we all knew would just be escapism and nothing more, late nights and tears and laughter and getting drunk in Israel instead of New York. Three weeks when I could pretend it all made sense, or forget that none of it made sense and not have to deal with it.
So we sat on the Tel Aviv beach, myself and this boy, toes in the sand and chairs sinking in. Watermelon and beer and music filtering out from the open-walled dining room behind us.
They rolled in, wave after wave after wave after wave, in and in and on and further and more, as the round earth turns. We fell silent, grinned, talked, fell silent, and I was trying so hard to remember why it was I could never go back home and face it all again.
'I can't go back.'
He laughed and I laughed, and the waves rolled in, and I wasn't even mad at him for making light of it. It was turning cool but the sand was still warm on our feet, and we laughed at the absolute finality of my stupid statement.
(I went back).
<< #0# >>
printable version
chaos
Why bother taking a picture? Jane tries to lose herself Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them. I don't want to go home
My soul is so viscous, I fear it may never pour out How to watch the stars from a secluded island river, in all his innocent beauty and home in hers Look, there's God
I am the " " in 'Sun Microsystems' What are the birds saying where you are? Feedback in Relationships fall asleep without thinking of monsters
Playing in the shower with a balloon E2 node autolinker Die, Trombone Boy! Is there Noise?
Do you cry out because the beauty is cruel? conversation Lone Star Well Ordering Theorem
Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale Deep Blue Music Happy Noodle Boy Found
Y'know, if you login, you can write something here. You can also Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
catwings2 Community Member 
|
|
