Every breath feels like another regret.
Another tear falls,
The phone rings.
Who is it this time who calls?
I keep trying to breathe,
But my heart has stopped, expanded, swollen.
My lungs tighten around it like a noose.
I gasp for release.
I hang suspended in air,
Begging to have just a little of it.
Is this really how it will always be?
Is this who I am going to see in the mirror in a year?
Will I still be me?
I'd like to convince myself, lead myself to a comforting false reality.
But nothing is black and white.
Nothing is simplistic.
I want to wake up.
Want to see a different person in that mirror.
Want to find a reason to show my face to the world.
I envy the barbies, the kens, the britneys and the christinas.
They don't have to create art to become beautiful.
They simply "are."
I'd love to lie to myself about all these things.
I know I have a strength no one else has.
I know I am unique.
I know I am my own creation.
So why do I still cry at night?
Because I can never be whole...
Without her..........................................................................
 Alucarda Incarnate · Wed Dec 19, 2007 @ 03:47am · 1 Comments |
