Hmmm... I think that I want a boyfriend... Even though I already know that I'd suck as a girlfriend... And I've normally absolutally LOVED being single... I still think that I want one... The last one I had was a total jerk and cheated on me a few times... But I want to have somone who isn't a ******** gay man-whore...
I can't trust many people though... It really sucks... I don't normally believe anything until they can prove it... And even then... Sometimes I still can't... I don't even know how many people I like!!! Too many, that's all I know... I like about two or three people... Maybe even one... I really don't know...
And I wouldn't go out with anybody when I like more than just that person... I just couldn't do it... The only person that I'm sure I like... Is Kevin at my school... Jessi says I should ask him out... But I won't... Though I do like him ALOT... I feel like he's messing with me though... I hate it!!!
I'm noticing all of these things that happen... That I KNOW didn't happen before... Like our legs keep touching... I blush when it happens... Luckily for me... I don't think it shows when I do... So either he's just messing with me... Since he already KNOWS that I like him... Or he's just not noticing himself... Either way he's fricken' driving me crazy!!!
And then there's Devon... We had a BIG fight... I know I used to love him... I know I still love him... But I'm wondering if it's just as a friend... I know I like him more than a friend... But I know things wouldn't work out between us... And I can't forget about him... I've been trying for about a year or two... So now I just want to move on... He's driving me crazy too... T.T
I don't know what to do... I always deny people when they ask me out... Because I don't want to be going out with someone when I like someone else... But a disavantage for me... Is that I just let basically anything happen to me... I bet if someone tried to kiss me... I wouldn't really do anything... I really have no problem with hugging though... I have people hanging off of me all the time... I'm used to that completly... -nods-
Anyways... What am I writing this journal for??? I have no idea... I guess I'm just bored... Hmmm... That would really suck if I started likeing someone over the internet... That's what me and Devon were fighting about... I don't really approve of internet relationships... So I got mad when he didn't tell me he liked this one chick over the internet... He ended up going out with her...
Even though if I ever went out with someone over the internet... I'd probrably want to meet them in real life... Otherwise... Things couldn't go anywhere... It's like a sure thing that you would break up... And I also wouldn't go around tellign everyone that I love him so much... When I haven't even met them in real life... And if I really don't love them... Well... I say I love people all the time... But it's only as friends... 'Cause I love my friends so much!!! <3 <3 <3
Ummm... Oskies... I'm done I guess... Hey!!! Guess what Alyssa!!! If you end up reading this... Then you'll see that I'm not all EMO in this one... I've been feeling much better because of a few friends in real life and over Gaia... Like:
Over Gaia:
Kyouya!!! Thank you so much for your advice!!!
Kaoru!!! Thanks for just being there and talking to me... For some reason I just feel so much better when I'm talking to you!!!
In Real Life:
Jessi!!! I Love YOUUUU!!! I don't know what I'd do without you!!!
Kevin!!! You rock so much!!! Like Kaoru, I feel so much better when I'm around you!!!
Alyssa!!! You are such a good friend!!! I'm so glad I know you!!! You are one of the coolest people ever!!!
Okay... I think I'm done now... XD
I can't trust many people though... It really sucks... I don't normally believe anything until they can prove it... And even then... Sometimes I still can't... I don't even know how many people I like!!! Too many, that's all I know... I like about two or three people... Maybe even one... I really don't know...
And I wouldn't go out with anybody when I like more than just that person... I just couldn't do it... The only person that I'm sure I like... Is Kevin at my school... Jessi says I should ask him out... But I won't... Though I do like him ALOT... I feel like he's messing with me though... I hate it!!!
I'm noticing all of these things that happen... That I KNOW didn't happen before... Like our legs keep touching... I blush when it happens... Luckily for me... I don't think it shows when I do... So either he's just messing with me... Since he already KNOWS that I like him... Or he's just not noticing himself... Either way he's fricken' driving me crazy!!!
And then there's Devon... We had a BIG fight... I know I used to love him... I know I still love him... But I'm wondering if it's just as a friend... I know I like him more than a friend... But I know things wouldn't work out between us... And I can't forget about him... I've been trying for about a year or two... So now I just want to move on... He's driving me crazy too... T.T
I don't know what to do... I always deny people when they ask me out... Because I don't want to be going out with someone when I like someone else... But a disavantage for me... Is that I just let basically anything happen to me... I bet if someone tried to kiss me... I wouldn't really do anything... I really have no problem with hugging though... I have people hanging off of me all the time... I'm used to that completly... -nods-
Anyways... What am I writing this journal for??? I have no idea... I guess I'm just bored... Hmmm... That would really suck if I started likeing someone over the internet... That's what me and Devon were fighting about... I don't really approve of internet relationships... So I got mad when he didn't tell me he liked this one chick over the internet... He ended up going out with her...
Even though if I ever went out with someone over the internet... I'd probrably want to meet them in real life... Otherwise... Things couldn't go anywhere... It's like a sure thing that you would break up... And I also wouldn't go around tellign everyone that I love him so much... When I haven't even met them in real life... And if I really don't love them... Well... I say I love people all the time... But it's only as friends... 'Cause I love my friends so much!!! <3 <3 <3
Ummm... Oskies... I'm done I guess... Hey!!! Guess what Alyssa!!! If you end up reading this... Then you'll see that I'm not all EMO in this one... I've been feeling much better because of a few friends in real life and over Gaia... Like:
Over Gaia:
Kyouya!!! Thank you so much for your advice!!!
Kaoru!!! Thanks for just being there and talking to me... For some reason I just feel so much better when I'm talking to you!!!
In Real Life:
Jessi!!! I Love YOUUUU!!! I don't know what I'd do without you!!!
Kevin!!! You rock so much!!! Like Kaoru, I feel so much better when I'm around you!!!
Alyssa!!! You are such a good friend!!! I'm so glad I know you!!! You are one of the coolest people ever!!!
Okay... I think I'm done now... XD
