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I really don't know what's wrong, but this is the biggest off-week I think I've ever had. I don't know why, but I'm both angry and depressed, and I should know more things. All I do know, is I'm angry because I'm depressed, and depressed because I'm angry. Call me smart for putting it like that, but that's how it is, and I almost don't want to get over it. I feel like I should be angry at someone for all of this, and since I can't seem to be mad at anyone even though a few people are really tugging my last nerve over some things. So that makes me think I'm the reason I'm so mixed up, and I'm pretty sure I'm not far off.
Which is why I'm doing a hiatus. Except for people I haven't interacted with in a long time, I'm staying away from everyone I don't need to come in contact with. I think I need some time away from everyone, and everyone could use some time from me. I think I'm bothering people, and I don't want to do that. I'm pretty sure I'm becoming a pest, and I just want summer school to end, so I can start swimming. I'm getting some exercise, and starting on the 11th, I'm going to try to go 5 days a week to the pool to just vibe. The swim will do some physical benefit, plus I'll enjoy it, it's one of the few exercises I can do for a long time, and lucky me, it's one of the best exercises out there.
School is a big portion of why I'm depressed, I can determine that. There's an ominous feel about it, and I need to get away ASAP. Today, I saw a dead dog along the sidewalk on my way walking to school this morning. This counts as the 5th tragic dead animal I've come across in the 3 weeks I've been going to school, and it's always been when I'm heading there, never leaving. The first 3 were cats, then there was a duck on the curb with it's neck turned the wrong way. Like the other times, I said a prayer for the dog, nearly in tears, wondering why I was receiving so many bad omens of death. This was the last thing I needed when I was contemplating abandoning my sociality.
So there you have it. I need to get to AV. Maybe that will help.
Edible Substance · Thu Jul 07, 2005 @ 07:22am · 1 Comments |
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