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I just wanted to make a journal entry for my BFFs back in Virginia. I love you guys so much and I miss you more than ever. It's weird because every time I think of you guys, school, home, mall, anywhere, no matter where, I always want to cry. Even if it has been about 6 months.... my eyes still water and my nose stuffs up, even if I don't want to cry. It's really hard to hide it because sometimes I'm in my dad's car, having a conversation, or during Social Studies in school, looking out the window. But, I just wanted to let you guys know that I love you and miss you. And even if we are far apart, no matter what, I always think of you and we'll always be friends forever.

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To my two best friends, my neighbors, and practically my siblings, KK and JJ. Remember how we first met? It seems as if I just moved in and met you guys while Kaleigh was picking flowers and Jacob was sitting on the swing. Ella went over to Kaleigh and started talking, laughing with their young giggles, swaying with their laced dresses. And Jacob, you were the first one I really met, alone on the swing. I walked over and sat next to you, and we talked, realizing that we were a lot in common. I didn't realize that me and you, along with Ella and Kaleigh, would become the best friends I've ever had:

Kaleigh - Remember how we used to always get into fights? It seems like just yesterday we were fighting over who the "main character" was (you know what I'm talking about), but that was a good 3 years ago. We constantly said, "NO! I'm never talking to you again!", but the next day we either acted like nothing happened, or one of us would finally give in and give the other a hug. We couldn't stand each other sometimes, with me being a bossy control-freak, and you being a non-listening mocker. But, still, we knew we had our faults and we still loved and accepted each other. And over the years, as we grew up, we got more mature, and left those negatives behind. We still fought but that's because we were close enough friends to debate with each other.

I miss taking you and Ella to the bus stop every morning, waving to you when I came off my bus and giving you a hug after you ran out the door, always running to each other's doors to ask the same question over and over: "Can we play today?" or "Can we have a sleepover?" or "Can you watch me?", playing 'the game', laughing at each other's crappy piano playing, and dancing on purposely badly to cheesy happy songs. I would do anything to go back and give you a hug again, and never let go.

Jacob - Ah... Jacob, I don't know where to start with you. We didn't get into much fights, did we? We usually made fun of each other, but just for kicks, because we knew we just kid around. But I can clearly remember you always saying, just in case you hurt my feelings, "Sorry! I didn't mean it!" and you're most famous quote, "Are we still friends?" I also clearly remember saying back, "God, we're still friends!" or "Stop saying sorry!" or "Just learn to say no!" But, I really should not have just taken that for granted, because now I realize that someone who cares that much for something as small as joking around really really must care about me.

I miss always waving to you when I was safety patrolling, playing pranks on Ella and Kaleigh, even though they really sucked, spying on each other's parents, staying at each other's house until 10:00 at times, begging each other's parents to stay longer, playing and killing each other, yet also working together, at video games, disguising as random idiots and walking to each other's houses, trying to sell shampoo products that we didn't even have, playing 'the game', and randomly scaring each other whenever we got bored. But the thing I miss most is you always saying sorry.

You guys were my best friends, and still are. Sometimes, when I walk outside, I think I can just walk over to my right and see you guys waving from the backseat of your mom's car. But I can't. And I miss it so much. It was the funnest thing to do... just knowing you guys were right there, all the time. But, we both had to move, strangely around the same time. I wonder if that wish we made, Jacob, that something would change, something new would happen, was the right thing to wish for. I didn't realize that everything was perfect, just the way it was with you guys.

Oh yea, and by the way, whenever you two get the chance, can you do me a favor? Could you tell Ray-Ray I said hi and I love and miss him? And give him my phone number. If you don't have it, send me in a pm.

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To my two other best friends, not mentioned before.... Chris and Reid. You two didn't have much connection, but I always remember me talking to Chris about Reid, and talking to Reid about Chris, so you knew each other just by descriptions. And trust me, I even miss always feeling so dumb around you two, being such geniuses n' all.

Chris - It's funny. I remember when I just got into Windsor Oaks and when I first glanced at you, I said, "OH MY GOD he's so cuuuute!!!" I'm not sure if you can remember, but I used to always follow you around or whenever I didn't and you passed by, I said, "Hi Chris~" with a whole dreamy voice. And you gave me a strange, yet soft look. Later on, in 4th grade, we started going to each other's houses... almost everyday. We'd always say, before we went to our posts in safety patrol, "Should I call you or should you call me?" Yep, I can remember 4th grade clearly, because it was so much fun with you around and always by my side. The baseball game... the church parties... I enjoyed every single moment of them. In 5th grade, I remember, for some reason, we started not hanging out as much. I hung out with Holly and the jerkwad, friend-separating Dustin, while you hung out with Blair, Joe, Rocky, and Samantha (how are they, by the way?) And I thought we wouldn't hang out anymore... I felt terrible. But then, one day, while Kaleigh, Jacob, and I were having a water balloon fight, you passed by on your bike, and we talked and went to my house. And we started going to each other's houses again. And I was so happy we were back together, as friends.

And when I had to move... you were one of the top people on my mind. Kaleigh and Jacob were already suspicious of it, and Reid didn't believe it would happen. Yet, you're reaction was unseen. When I told you, we thought it was no big deal, we could still talk. But deep down, it was one of the biggest downfalls of my life. You were my first crush, my first school friend, my first real friend, not including Kaleigh and Jacob. I felt confident around you, safe around you, happy around you. And I can't believe I can't just ride my bike over to your house to see you anymore. Instead, I'll have to take a 12 hour drive.

And when you told me you liked me in 4th grade, that was one of greatest feelings... Sometimes, I wonder if when I told you in 5th grade, that I didn't like you anymore as more than a friend, was the right thing to do. Because I'm not sure if you are just a friend to me... you're a best friend forever, but my feelings beyond that are unsure. I know this might be surprising for you, but I said I'm unsure. Why I can't just say I don't like you? Simple. I've never met a sweeter, more understanding guy, like you, and you're more special than you think, compared to the other people in this crazy world. But one thing's for sure about my feelings... you're my best friend forever, and always will be.

Reid - 6 months. 6 months before I moved, we met. And in that half-year, we became the closest and best of friends. I can't believe how fast it took for us to get so comfortable with each other. For me and Chris, it took about a year to really become best friends. Kaleigh and Jacob, for us to lessen out fighting, about 2 years (but we were still extremely close), but you... 6 months. It's probably because of our abnormally similar interests. We're both art freaks (and proud baby!), book readers (well, I'm not even HALF as interested in books... you lil' bookworm :XP smile , music-obsessed, environmentalists (once again, not even HALF!), and super creative imagination users. And still, the whole 2 days, 1 year apart thing, and the same white scar mark on our upper arms thing haunts me to this very day.

Man, I'm so glad Mom had to take me with her to Rich's. I wasn't expecting to meet one of my best friends ever. I loved always having sleepovers every Saturday practically, showing each other our so called "terrible" drawings, even though both of our MaD sKiLlZ were awesome, talking to each other about how much we hated Bush, singing to the songs on your play lists, always complimenting each other on our voices... and I really miss those times. And remember, you always got so tight whenever I went into my mom's e-mail to check if she was secretly bidding on houses, and I was just care-free and doubtless of getting caught? We're so opposite in some things, yet so alike in others.

At least... we always talk to each other on the phone at least twice a week. And I'm so happy we talk to each other as if I never moved. Same fooling-around insults, compliments, story times, and 'playing the game'... it makes me feel good. I'm just happy I didn't move any earlier than 6 months before I did, or I would've never met the most awesome red-head ever that you are.

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I love you guys so much... I can't even describe how much I miss you. Moving to Virginia Beach was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. Holliston isn't nearly as great as Virginia, because no one here's as special as you guys (except for the people I hang out with... love you guys too) You were all unique... different... yet we all had at least one thing in common... we all loved and trusted each other.

Please... never forget me. Because I'll never, mark my words, NEVER forget you.

heart B.F.F's heart