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Well its that magical time agein, and Sakura's last entry got me to thinking.
Sakura is turning 15, and posted a big long deep entry about growing up, and its sorta odd, lately I've been looking back alot to, thinking of how I've changed, what I've gained, and what i've lost, so I figured I'de put up my own little soap box rant.

It seems odd, Sakura is turning 15, Froggy will be 16 this year, Hono is going to collage for gods sake, and I never realy noticed the age diferance vetween us was so little! I'm the youngest out of all my friends, real life, internet, you name it, I'm always the youngest, yet the age diferance has never been that much! It always feels like so much more. But september I'll 15 to, then 16 and soon collage just like Hono(okay maybe not since I dun plan on going to collage)

I guess cause I've always felt younger I've always tried to be older, and last night me and my mom got to talking about her friends kids, who are 10 and 12.
I remember wen i was 12, I got to go to alot of events for older kids cause of my art, so I was always mashed in with 17 and 18 year olds, and I remember just how small I felt. I didnt get any of the jokes, any of the references, and they were so much bigger! I had never kissed aboy or even held hands with one, and they were showing off hickies, and talking about sex, and new brands I'de never heard of, I didnt have the first clue what a rave was!
Last night tho, my mom said that maybe Kaylyn(friends 12 year old daughter) was so bad at talking to me cause she's nervous, and trying to seem smart and cool.

It sorta made me wonder if I was realy like those older kids I used to hang out with.
I always tried so hard, and tried to show off, and act smart and funny, so was some preteen trying to do the same for me? Only 2 years ago I was like that, now to think preteens are trying to seem cool around me, have I grown up, or am I just older?

It seems like I'm starting to see the world like a adult, everytime I buy something, i caculate the price in my head, I know wen my moms pay check comes in, I know how much it cost to feed someone for a week. And 2 years ago I didnt even know what a paycheck was other then some money you got for working hard!

Funny how much can change in only 2 years neh?
Well on another note, I dont think I mind growing up so much, I know the real world is hard, but would you realy want to be a child forever? I want to make it on my own in the world, and i want to be grown up, but do I have to grow up? I can still run through the store dressed as Itachi, and explaining to the old ladies at the checkout I'm the weasel king, without staying 14 forever!
There has to be some balance between being grown up, worrying about taxes, and work, and every other little thing, and being naive to the world forever. I wanna have fun, I wanna still run through a mall like a idiot with my best friends, but I also wanna know the value of a dallor, know how to survive without my mom!

I know some of my friends will grow up and leave me, I know I wont have every friend forever, but I will have the memories forever, and I hope I still have as many friends at the end of this as possible! Even if I come out of collage, find my place in the world and have no friends, you're never to old to make new ones, and you still have the memories, and maybe you can even go re-find some of the old ones!

Well I guess I'de better wrap up, so all in all I guess I'm trying to say, I want to grow up, without growing up, and I know some of my friends will leave me, but some friends I'll be racing through the halls of the nursing home with wen I'm old and krinkly!