|
|
|
Life sucks again. I like somebody that I don't even know, I don't like my bf anymore but I don't know how to break it to him....On top of that it's like I don't even know who I am anymore. One of my friends promises they wont leave me....but how can i believe that when so many ppl before her have said the same thing and just walked away.So many ppl have told me they loved me, that I didn't have to worry about them leaving cause they cared about me.That was a whole bunch of crap I bought into and I'm never buying again. I don't care if I have to leave the rest of my life alone.....it's better then living with ppl and getting hurt over and over for no reason.....
Us
When I first met you, I knew someday we would have something.As our friendship grew, so did my trust for you.I began to reach for you, both hand out for you to grab.At first you didn't see what I was doing.Things stayed the same, but I kept my hands out for you.We played everyday.Before I knew it though things changed.You moved but at least I could still walk to your house.We didn't see each other as often though.Yet I still had my hand out for you, but this time my hands held something for the taking.What you ask?My heart I give to you.You saw it, but you wouldn't take it.Soon I began to question you.During this battle I moved.Now I only saw you once a week. then once a month.The day we weren't together grew dull.Everything I saw you my heart pounded with glee.As I wipe the fog from my car window I wonder what happened to those days....where I could tell you anything and you would understand?Or we could just sit in silence and know what each other was thinking?What changed all this you wonder?The day you took my heart and put your hand in mine.We were so happy...or at least I was, but after awhile, when I went to grab your hands....you slipped away just like that.You turned into someone new.I asked why you changed....you lied when you told me you were the same person.Was it all lie?Our love?Our friendship?Everything?As I sit here with someone new, I wonder if this is right.I tell him he has my heart, but that's a lie.You still have my heart.Though you've moved on you didn't give it back.I'm no sure if I want my heart back though.It's probably all broken and torn.So I'll wait here in the darkness.I think back to a time when you said you wouldn't ever leave me alone and let the darkness eat away at me.Look at me now.That's exactly where I am.I'm not going to blame you for all of this though.I blame myself.I'll walk here in this darkness with my hands out again.I hope you'll come and find me, but if you don't I know someone will.So I'll wait.....and wait.......and wait....until one day I find the right one.Thank you for being my first real friend, my first real love, and my first real chance.
(this is about how me and my ex used to be)
With you
I remember everything just like yesterday.All the pain. misery, and unhappiness, but along with that the days where none of that existed.All the days we spent together holding hands and laughing too hard.Those moments still make me smile, though sometimes I silently cry to myself.As I touch the picture with you in it I fall into pieces.I put on a coat and take the picture.As I walk out in the rain it's almost like the rain erases my pain.I hold the necklace in my hand, and grip it tight so it wont slip.When I get to the graveyard I stop in my tracks.I look up at the sky and I slowly start to cry.With every step I take the tears come faster and flow easier.By the time I get to your tombstone, I'm on my knees sobbing uncontrollably.As I get myself together I lay the picture down on the wet grass.Over your picture I lay down the necklace you gave me when we went down to that lake.It has our names engraved on it with the word forever after them.As I get to my feet, I hear your voice calling me in the rain.I start running in the direction it's coming from.When I get to the spot I find myself at the willow tree we used to always met at...the same willow tree we had our first kiss under...and the same willow tree you hung yourself at.As I walk up to the tree I hear your voice in my ear. "Don't forget me my love....I'll always be with you..." but when I turn around no one is there.As I fall to my knees I begin to sob."why did you go?" I shout as I band my fist on the cold, wet ground.It is then I see you up above in the clouds reaching out for me.I lift my hand to yours and you life me to my feet.Into the air I go, and fall into your arms.Forever will we stay like this.Now I have come back to you.We'll never leave each other because everything will be perfect.NO ONE said heaven lead to happiness, though that's what I want to believe as I walk up to the gates of heaven with your hand in mine.But one thing I know fro certain....I will be happy because you have returned to me my love and now I wont EVER have to send you to the heavens a dove.You'll already be up there.I'm just glad I know the search is over.
(this is about my very first friend, and love. he's gone though. he committed suicide.this is dedicated to him and anyone who's lost someone to suicide)
 miroku fan 101 · Sun Apr 06, 2008 @ 05:39pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
