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Oh, love, you've got so many things wrong there! I'll tell you what I know.
You are bigger than you'd like, but you're still gorgeous physically, as well as personally. You've got the high GPA because you work hard to earn it, and you have a grade bump from your AP classes. Also, what's wrong with being a nerd? It's never caused us too much grief. No one can have perfection, and that makes you perfect; it means you're working perfectly. Thinking mean things doesn't make you evil; the fact that you try to counter it with kindness proves that you're not evil. If you lied to me about going away to a mental institution, I'd find out and hunt you down; I'm a loyal and tenacious person, so you know I'd do it. If you like to draw, then it doesn't matter if you're good or not. I know that in general it feels nice to be able to look at what you've finished and be proud of what you've done, but not-so-good leads to good leads to better leads to great. To be cool, first you must define "cool". If what you mean is popular, then no you never will be with an attitude that shuts down the possibility. If what you mean is simply having the "cool" persona, then it's up to you to try rather than quit because of what's in the mirror at the moment. You are only 18, only--it doesn't mean you have to be able to help everyone, or even anyone! Age is a number that doesn't have to be a goal or guideline for who or how you are. I've never had a boyfriend before either, and the only two people that have ever asked me out were some creepy dude at the pool when I was in seventh grade and Demitri from school (also in seventh grade; back when I was smokin' hot I guess). You have to been to a house for a party; you went to my house last year for my birthday and you were at Natalie's party this year. In any case, not being invited doesn't hurt as much as inviting people to your own party and not having anyone show up. You need to stop biting yourself; that's just not a good habit... Though, I do understand it a bit, I suppose. The two scars on my right thumb are from my own nail when I was thinking horrible things in church one day and thought I ought to "silently punish" myself. To be in love can be hell, or it can be heaven; there's no real way to know until it happens to you, but there's no use just waiting for it to happen or you'll miss it. How are you liking Twighlight so far? I've got the next two books in the series if you want to read them. Being submissive isn't such a bad thing as long as you learn when to stand up and be decisive. You are more than good enough to talk to people, but sometimes it may just be that you're not comfortable to do so; that's fine, but never tell yourself that it's because you're not good enough. Insecurity hurts in general, but to elleviate to pain you've got to learn to overcome it, and to let others help you become stronger. Tell others about yourself and then they'll know. I know what it is to want to keep it all in and yet shout it at the same time, but always remember: speak your mind, even if your voice shakes. Such a special person can't be "found" per se; it'll just sort of...happen. You're not necessarily alone, y'know? Even if I and your other friends aren't the one that'll hold you at night, we're still here. Give us a bit of use and let us in, ok?
I know what you know now, and you are beautiful. Don't forget it, or I'll have to knock into you heart

I don't bite myself to the point of bleeding but pretty hard.....I'll try to stop I only do it when I am on the verge of going insane. I'll try to let you know more about my unstable emotions. sweatdrop We should have more days that we spend together and just talk like when we went out to sushi. xD (I need to find out if I am working) I'll do my best not to let my insecurites ruin my life. Thank you. ^.^

Alright then, we'll try and find more days to chill, just us two. Though, that'll get harder as the school-year ends and we go off to college....but we'll find a way.