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Have you ever heard the phrase, "Treat others as you would like to be treated"? I think the reason Robert and I haven't been getting along lately is because I haven't been treating him all that nice, yet expecting him to treat me really well.
I decided to try harder at it. I'm actually kinda proud of myself today. We were chatting just a minute ago, and he was complaining about being hungry and weak, and instead of chewing him out, like I'd started to, because he'd yelled at me for something completely out of my control, I took a deep breath and said he could eat.
I'm a control freak, there's no denying it. If I had it, I would want to control all of my surroundings, including the weather. eek However, since I can't do any of that, I try to control others around me to try and get my way. There are many times where I regret it quite a bit...
I hate that I cry when we argue. The last two arguments, I started crying and yelling, but instead of continuing, I took a mental look at myself, breathed deep to calm myself down, then started arguing logically. While I didn't really win (there was nothing to be won), I felt like we'd connected better.
The one thing that seems to take the most control are my hormones. I always thought it was the pill, but it might not be... it might be the real me... and personally, I don't like me. So, for the sake of our relationship and my own sanity, I'm starting a change that will hopefully benefit for the better of my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. And hopefully, myself.
 Earths_Eclipse · Tue Jun 03, 2008 @ 01:53am · 0 Comments |
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