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~*Confess and discuss

I never confessed to Tanner. He has a Gf, and that's what stopping me basically. But talking to Riley, he urged me to confess. After I ran out of excuses, he just found more and more things to say. -Sigh- I think it's stupid. Why confess to him now, when i only have like one week of school left? Why confess. . .? I don't know. I'm scared. I"m scared of Kayli. What she'll do. . .
Gmail chat with Riley:
Riley: so now...
me: let's discuss his gf
She's a b***h.
not only that
but is the most girl who spreads the gossip.
She controls all the other bitches
to do her bidding
Riley: D:
me: While she has Tanner, and acts like she's a queen
Riley: what the hell?
Thats how she is. Here was my plan. It's not good. . i'm going to get people. I'm going to steal her bitches, and train them. After that, i'll basically have control. Sounds mean? Nah. I'm going to say to people i like him. Once it spreads around school. . . he'll basically know.
It would be better if he knew, and not talk about it. Being friends. . . was so easy. I like it better than a gf & bf thing. But if we were, how would he treat me? Would he hug me so gently, like he did at my birthday party? Would he even talk to me. . . I want him to be my idiot so bad. I want to be a silly couple. i want to be the longest relationship he ever had.
Then Riley. He gave me a whole load of crap of advice. He encourages me to much. I feel a bit sad i can't help him when he's sad. It doesen't work so well. . .finding the words to make him happy again is harder than others. I'm not ever gonna fall in love with him, but he his closet guy-friend ever. -Laughs- I'll be at his wedding, and i would be crying and screaming, telling him how proud i am! He's my 'pretend husband.' -laughs-. While we have a 'pretend baby.' A little community filled with people we don't know. A future?
He's the only guy friend who understands girls, or me. . don't know, very well. I wish i get to see him almost everday, we only saw each other in person like two times. That is very sad. I make sure all of my stories are told to sammi, then told to almost everyone in NOVA. -smiles- i hope He's reading this, and atleast smiling and that i carefully reached out and dried his tears.
I love u my pretend husband!! -mwah-