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I'm jealous, there it is, right there. I am an jealous, envious person.
I always knew Anastasia was amazing. And I was excited, thrilled, thrilled, thrilled beyond words when I found out she was actually coming to the USA for sure. Then when I met her in Chicago, she and Tania blew me away. They were so...just, awesome! I loved their distinct personalities. Nastya always had this little shy smile on her face, all the time. It's just the way she is. We'd be standing in line somewhere, walking down the street, eating dinner. And she'd always be smiling. She's just overall a nice, caring, sweet person. A dreamer, just like me. I think she was in a state of disbelief that she was actually in America. For her, it's like a dream come true. I just wish I could have talked to her more...I'd known her for a year now. And we never ran out of things to talk about...online. That's how I am with everyone, I hate it. Because there were a lot of silences when we were in Chicago. I didn't really know what to say to her...and I payed for that. The minutes before she left, we were standing in the bus station, just looking around. Completely silent. Why hadn't I said anything?? I watched her leave and I started crying because I knew I'd miss her so much. Even though I knew I'd see her again. She's coming to Michigan in a month or so. But I saw her as a sister, almost. Mum and I took care of her and Tania like they were sisters.
Then there was Tania, she was awesome, too. I don't think she was as phased as Nastya was to be in America. She just sorta was like, "Hm. Yeah. America." And very mature. She kept sushing Nastya, tuttung, being very mother-like. It was funny. And she asked questions, I really loved that about her. Whenever she didn't understand something, didn't know what something was, she'd ask about it. Something else that was fun about her, she said, "yes?" after a question. when she first walked into the terminal and I ran to go meet her, she let out a huge sigh of relief, hugged me, and said, "You'll take me to the hostel, yes?" Yes, of course! that was the plan. Her plane was later than Nastya's so she had to ride all by herself. I felt soo bad for her...I don't know what I'd do if I had to ride a plane for my first time for 15-18 hours all by myself. And when we went back to the hotel for dinner, they brought over rolls and butter...and the butter was in the form of little balls. For some fancy reason. And Tania didn't know what it was! It was cool.
Anyway, they left for York, Nebraska to work Wednesday night. I had only heard from the 3-4 times since they arrived there...Nastya said that York (described as a small town... *cougharmadacough*) and that it was boring! Haha! That's too funny. Go figure, they'd get placed somewhere boring. Anyhow, they make 10$ an hour, work 5 days a week, and don't have to pay for their hotel. They scoop ice cream at Baskin Robins!! Not bad, not bad. and I guess they've made a few friends while they were there...including some girl in a couple of their pictures and apparently, a guy.... O.O!
Now this is where the jealousy comes in. I want them all for myself! WAHHH!!! gonk What right do they have to make friends?!!!??! I'm kidding, kidding. But still...those friends have no idea how lucky they are. I wonder if they'll stay in contact with Nastya and Tania when they go back to Russia at the end of summer. Probably. Then they'll have more than one American penpal...I felt kind of flattered when she told me that I was the only person she talked to from America.
I'm talking to her sister, Kate. Kate's a year younger than me. and surprisingly, we're a lot alike. Young-minded, dreamers, eager, always wanting things a lot and quickly. She's cool, I wonder why we haven't talked before now. I guess because we've got common ground. I feel so bad for her; she's not going to see Nastya all summer. around 3 months...I don't know what I'd do if I didn't see Jen for 3 months. And they're more sentimental than Jen and I are. Jen and I are close but she's never been the hugging, crying person. I am. And Nastya and Kate are. So I'm sure they miss each other more than Jen would miss me...if that makes sense.
This whole trip really has awakened something in me. I didn't use the most Russian I could when I was with them...and I've been practicing more, I think, because of that regret. I've surprised Kate and another girl I talk to because...I guess they didn't think I spoke much! Cause I never did! Even though it was a Russian facebook-like site we're all on. Dunno. But yeah, Nastya's following through with her dream really has made me want to follow through with mine. I mean, if she could, why can't I? I guess money's a problem...so I've put away all my grad/birthday money (it's about 240$ right now...not enough to wipe my a** with) and I think that if I get a job I can save even more. maybe if I come halfway the family could come the other? it's like 1400 for a plane ticket to Russia. It's weird, because Nastya's mom doesn't work. Her dad makes enough alone to support them. They've got a modest house, in the hilly country, very modest. So how could he afford to send her here? Plane was 1,400, bus ticket from Chicago to York was another 100, they've got to pay for food, transportation, laundry, stuff like that here. Plus Nastya wants to see the Grand Canyon, go to Disney Land/World, and see me in Michigan. So she's got to have a few hundred (or a thousand?) in her credit card. It's 400 per person from Omaha to Detroit, I hope they can afford that. They should be able to. but they also will want souvenirs, stuff like that. God, why does it cost so much to travel? Any why the hell can't I get any money... It's depressing. HA, you know, too, mom will never let me leave. Even if I do raise the money. She's scared I'll DIE or something. Well, look at Nastya and Tania! They're fine! Absolutely happy and fine at their job. And it's not like I'd be alone like they are. And I won't be stuck working somewhere, either. If I went to Russia, Nastya already said I could stay with her family in their home in Orel. Their house is huge, so she said there would be plenty of room for me. And Mom's seen Nastya, she knows that she's a good person. And she'd take care of me just as good as mom and I took care of Nastya.
This should be a new paragraph, my rantings. Anyway, it wouldn't be until next summer that I would go to Russia. Right now Nastya and Tania are in York, they won't go home until September. Maybe I'll go over the winter? Experience a good old Russian winter?? XD But I get like 2-3 weeks off in December. Plus...I want to experience a Russian New Year's, too. But mom would never let me leave! Jesus christ! There's got to be something, anything, I could do to change her mind. Nastya said that her mom didn't want her to go, either (and Kate says she's really, really worried...) but she just got the money and went. Her mom couldn't really do anything at that point in time. But I do think her parents aren't as strict as mine. They let her go with Lena down to Ukraine last summer for a vacation. I just...want to go. See new places. And I'm like the most careful person on the planet, never been in trouble, never been hurt or anything. I take kick boxing classes, for christ's sake. I know she'll always worry but for the love of god, I need to move around! Explore and find things out for myself. Of course I'd make good decisions. And I'd be with responsible people who would never, ever let anything happen to me. I just...s**t, it feels hopeless. Completely. What am I going to do? Can I even wait another year? I just...God, I can't even write anymore. There's nothing left to say.
ThaddeusTheThird · Mon Jun 09, 2008 @ 10:40pm · 2 Comments |
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