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I am currently working on a story of sorts... I would appreciate constructive criticism. Please don't talk badly about it, because a lot of my own emotions went into creating this, mostly as a way to keep the thoughts in my mind under control.
[Story] : Where I Belong (Part 1)
A boy awoke in the dead of night, freezing, in agonizing pain, and near death in a pool of his own blood that had mixed with rain water from the storms earlier that night. He had no recollection of how he got there, or why he was there, but the one thing he did know was that... he was dying. He could feel Death's arms reaching for him, cold and lifeless, like nothing he had ever felt in his life, but he was just out of reach. As the boy waited for Death to reach him and take him away from his agony, he noticed someone walking towards him.

"Help me," he said to the unknown stranger, his voice nothing more than a whisper. "Please... help me..."

The stranger heard the boy's feeble cries, looked around through the darkness, and saw him lying, bruised and battered, in a shallow ditch off the side of the road. When the stranger noticed the dark pool around the boy's body, he pulled a cell phone out of his pocket, and dialed 911. After a few minutes of telling the operator where the boy was, and describing the scene, he hung up, and, taking one last look at the boy, started walking again, not wanting to get caught up in the pandemonium that would be the police, passersby, and emergency officials, asking questions, and pointing fingers.

"Please... please help me..." the boy kept saying as he noticed the stranger walking away. "Don't let me die here..." The boy became silent; still dying, and unconscious once more, slipping closer and closer into the hands of Death...






User Comments: [1]
shirobon13
Community Member





Fri Sep 19, 2008 @ 04:36am


wow! awsome story saito! domokun domo power! biggrin mrgreen


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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