Well...lately I've been noticing how I don't really want to be around people anymore. I just want to be left alone. People just bug me, irritate me, or cause me pain..so yeah I don't know if that's normal or not but it's what I'm feeling. I actually want to be with one person...but I cant. Simple as that I guess. And if I cant be with the person I want...well then I don't want to be with anyone. They'll just irritate me and I'll hurt them in one way or another. I guess it'd be best to get away from people for awhile, but it's not that simple now is it?? People wont leave me alone just because I say I don't want to be around anyone anymore. They'll just bug me more actually. And schools going to ruin that plan too since you have to talk to people sometimes.
But I am going to try to limit the time I spend with people for the moment. I just need to be by myself and think some things through. So sorry if I'm not on much, or I'm not talking to you guys lately. I have a lot on my mind at the moment...also sorry if I don't submit anything for awhile either. I probably wont have to time to...ok that's a lie, but yeah I just don't really feel like writing at the moment anymore. I guess that's just how I am right now. And if I do happen to put some things up, don't except them to be all happy because trust me they'll be very far from happy. Anyways, I don't think I'm going to tell anyone about what I'm doing, but I am going to do what is needed. If some people get hurt in the process then so be it. I may lose some friend, but I'll look at it as they weren't good friends since they didn't stick with me through the thin. Like people always tell me good friend stick with you through thick or thin; bad or good.
I'm going to keep most of my thoughts and feelings inside my head too. That might help me become less social. Or maybe I could just write to people instead of talking to them...yea I think I might try that. Writing notes to people instead of talking to them. Either that or I'll have to act really grumpy, mad, and sad so people will leave me alone...basically let my true colors show. But that could be harder then I think. Oh well we'll see now wont we? I just hope no one gets majorly hurt during this...thing in my life. I don't want to cause anyone else pain because what kind of person would that make me? I guess I could try not to hurt people, but sometimes that's just not possible...oh well...life is what it is. Time will explain things in time i guess...I hope that is...
 miroku fan 101 · Thu Sep 11, 2008 @ 11:30pm · 0 Comments |
