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"The Pain"
Walking away was harder then I thought
But I knew I had to since my heart was shot
There's no going back
But know what we're going to lack
I wish there was something I could do
But I cant bring you back, not even as I look at the dew
It's all over now; nothing can be changed
But no matter what I do, there's nothing to ease the pain
((just what I feel. I'm a complete wreck right now you could say...or maybe worse then that. I cant think straight so I couldn't tell you the answer tho...whatever hope you enjoy my poem anyways))
"My Light"
My head's pounding as I run
I'm trying my best to stop the sun
If they see him this will end
I'm positive my heart wont mend
"Let him be safe" I hope inside
I wont fall for anymore lies
My pace begins to slow as he comes ti sight
I see something I cant bare; gone is my light
((came up with this in L.A.
just a lot of mixed feelings at the moment....so yea...
hope you enjoy ))
"loneliness-pain-only friends"
Loneliness was always my friend
But I guess good or bad things must always end
When you came you made my heart jump
Then you spoke and in my throat was a lump
You made me laugh; made me cry
When you left you made me die
Pain is now my only friend
I know my heart will never mend
((yea this is what i'm feeling at the moment. in a really shitty mood i suppose...so yea, hope you like anyways ))
"Slip away like sand"
...I cant believe it...
she's really gone
Her life never really fit
It was just a little too long
Her smiles disappeared,
Replaced with tears
I hope she's near,
Cause right now I cant stand alone on this peer
Every time I hear someone laugh...
I remember when she used to radiate with her laugh
Every time I see someone smile...
I remember how she used to glow with her smile
As I walk into the room...I see her in that case
It hurts to look at her...dead
She was running an unbeatable race
' I COULD HAVE SAVED HER!!!' that's what I hear in my head
I walk up and touch her cold face
Tears stream from my eyes
I cant take this...I start to run away from her case
It's hard to believe...she really died?
Why is she gone?
She understood me like no one else can
What did I do wrong?
All I can see is her slipping away from me forever like sand...
((why did she do it? why is she gone? ...damn this isn't right...she was too young. she had a whole life to live. i keep looking for her, but...i'll never see her again...why did this happen? ...god i'm such a wreak right now. excuse me while go try to cry...or try something else if i cant...))
"My soul"
My words hurt you
I couldn't understand that until now
But really there's nothing I can do
Before I leave you in this silence I'll take my bow
My actions caused you pain
Why did I hurt myself?
I thought I was the only one losing the gain
Why didn't I see how strong you felt?
My love made you learn how to love
Well, at least I could fix one thing
You really are handsome my little dove
I just noticed how much, to you, I cling
Your words hurt me
Guess you couldn't see either
There's really nothing we can do, or at least that I see
We both need to take a breather
Your actions caused me pain
Don't you dare blame yourself for this
What you did wasn't in vain
Well, good-bye to bliss
Your love made me learn how to love
You fixed me to a complete whole
The love you gave showed me what it was like up above
I give you my very last thing;my soul
((about my love...very confused at the moment. I did something stupid and he did what I did. I really hate myself at the moment. well anyways hope you enjoy))
"My angel"
Sometimes I wonder what happened to you, but that doesn't last long because whenever I think of you anger isn't far off. People tell me that I should forgive you, but how can I forgive when I cant even find myself? All hope is lost, all peace has disappeared. Love seems so far away, my hear lays on the floor in pieces. You've done so much damage to me that I don't even know who I am anymore...I was lost before you did this to me. I thought you loved me, that you cared. You proved those theories wrong. If you really love me you would be healing these wounds. If you really cared you would do anything to make me happy.
When I think back to all the times you made me cry I laugh...but when I think back to all the times you made me smile and laugh I cry. I don't know why the sight of your face or the sound of your voice brings so much pain. It shouldn't hurt anymore, I should be used to it by now. Every time I close my eyes I see your perfect face smiling my favorite smile. Every time I drift away from reality to your arms I hear my favorite husky voice whisper in my ear.
NO STOP! STOP THINKING OF HIM! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! HE NEVER DID! GIVE IT A REST ALREADY! I wish I could. I wish I could so badly. Thoughts of him come to me like breathing. So quickly, so easily, so addicting. I cant stop it...even if I'm not with him he's with me. It's so painful. I cant stand to "see" him again, to "hear" him once more or to be "held in his arms...I cant take it.
As the knife comes to my skin I feel pleasure. The pleasure of pain, pleasure of never having anything to do with him again. He was my angel, but just as quickly as he gave me life he took it away. Evey thing is going black, everything's fading away. Right before it all fades away I hear him screaming, I see his anguished face. I smile as I whisper his name.
THIS ISN'T REAL! I tell myself, but as he cradles me in his arms it feels too real. He kisses my lips ever so gently as if he's afraid he'll hurt me again. I see the tears he cries. Is he crying these tears for me? The last thing I hear is him whisper "I love you, don't leave me." I fell his warm touch one last time and before it all fades away, I see his perfect face in so much agony.
Then it's completely black, completely silent...but I still see him, I still hear him screaming, I still smell his sweet sent. It's too late though. I'm gone. Soon my angel will join me in death. As I wait I sit silently and cry. I cry for my angel because now I feel what he feels. I see what he sees. I am him. Now I understand how much pain I put him through. How much he really did love and care for me. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry my angel. Please forgive me. You desearve to be happy. Do what you must, but hold me one last time, give me one last kiss. And then you disappear. We both fade away into this black abyss.
((yea. . .this is a dream I've been having lately. I'm thinking about him and how he hurts me...and then it just becomes to much to bare. I kill myself but for some reason he comes in and sees me dieing. He tries to save me but it's too late. I die. . .in death I see how much I hurt him, how much he is sorry for the pain he caused me. How much he really truly and utterly cares and loves me. I become him. Then he joins me and we fade away together. . .weird I guess, but that's my dreams for you. Anyways, hope you enjoy))
 miroku fan 101 · Mon Oct 06, 2008 @ 09:22pm · 0 Comments |
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