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I'd forgotten what this feels like. I guess I assumed that it wasn't coming back.

I started filming some stuff, like... I lit my hair on fire. And there was one with me and about 50 balloons in my room that I was kicking up and like. And one with me in my underwear and a badly torn up shirt and a light up rose.
I want to get one of me vomiting. And some other grody stuff.

Anyhow, my life expectancy is pretty low right now. I'm not suicidal though. It's just very hard to live. I am an unhappy person. And this sadness is just part of an illness that is not signing to go away. I would really like a hug right now though.