All of a sudden.
I just feel...Not there, you know?
I don't even know how to explain it, really.
I just feel different. Hollow, maybe.
=/
Not emotionally either.
like i'm pretty sure it's a physical feeling.
I've eaten and everything.
And no, I did NOT just paw off. xD;
This depression is going way beyond just a bad day.
Beyond a bad week.
Beyond a month, even.
It's just there, now.
I smile at school, when I'm around my friends.
But.. it's almost like it's completely fake; but not that way on purpose.
Because. it's definately not how I feel.
I mean, a smile DOES actually activate hormones in the human body that make you feel happy; scientific studies have been done. No joke. And when we're still in our mommy's womb, there are things imprinted in our mind. 'Smiling = Happy' is one of them.
But it's all fake for me.
I say fake for lack of a better word.
Because it isn't FAKE.
but.. it is, at the same time.
I probably shouldn't have held my tears so hard in english and socials.
I should have let them just come.
=/
but it's too late now. they're tucked back away.
Nh.
._.
I wish that.. maybe I could wake up and not 'have' to worry about anything.
I wish that I could wake up, wrapped in the protecting, loving arms of someone.. I'd open my eyes, look up at him and see a warm smile that told me that he wasn't gonna go anywhere.
He'd lean down and kiss me... =
Go to bed early, and stay in bed late.
And. I wish that wishes came true.
If they did, though.. We'd have nothing to look forward to.
So. Maybe I don't.
..well.. just one wish. ._.
I just feel...Not there, you know?
I don't even know how to explain it, really.
I just feel different. Hollow, maybe.
=/
Not emotionally either.
like i'm pretty sure it's a physical feeling.
I've eaten and everything.
And no, I did NOT just paw off. xD;
This depression is going way beyond just a bad day.
Beyond a bad week.
Beyond a month, even.
It's just there, now.
I smile at school, when I'm around my friends.
But.. it's almost like it's completely fake; but not that way on purpose.
Because. it's definately not how I feel.
I mean, a smile DOES actually activate hormones in the human body that make you feel happy; scientific studies have been done. No joke. And when we're still in our mommy's womb, there are things imprinted in our mind. 'Smiling = Happy' is one of them.
But it's all fake for me.
I say fake for lack of a better word.
Because it isn't FAKE.
but.. it is, at the same time.
I probably shouldn't have held my tears so hard in english and socials.
I should have let them just come.
=/
but it's too late now. they're tucked back away.
Nh.
._.
I wish that.. maybe I could wake up and not 'have' to worry about anything.
I wish that I could wake up, wrapped in the protecting, loving arms of someone.. I'd open my eyes, look up at him and see a warm smile that told me that he wasn't gonna go anywhere.
He'd lean down and kiss me... =
Go to bed early, and stay in bed late.
And. I wish that wishes came true.
If they did, though.. We'd have nothing to look forward to.
So. Maybe I don't.
..well.. just one wish. ._.
