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i laugh-
inside i want to cry

i smile-
as i hold back the tears

i'm carefree-
inside i'm worried

i'm surrounded by others-
yet, i feel so alone

you seem nice-
but i can't trust you

i'm in control of my life-
i can't handle it anymore

i'm a "good" girl-
i think i'm a bad person

i know exactly what i'm doing-
i don't even know what i believe in anymore

i seem so happy here-
i want to run away

i live my life to the fullest and love unconditionaly-
i want to die