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you know what i feel like now that i'm not half asleep all the time and i'm more awake i under stand more than normal... but then again i keep seeing thing... stare ... but like yeah now that i understand the stuff my life really sucks... well thats my life... i feel like i cause more pain than anything... i feel like i can only make 1 person happy for only a minute and thats it and thats like nothing... my life sucks a lot but i bet there are people out there that thinks there life sucks more but it is your opinion so nobody can have the worst life because someone's life gets worse everyday... mine yeah i might be one of those people... i feel like i'm only lucky like 2 times a year so yeah... happy thanksgiving to all that celebrate it... only if i could smile right now... but everytime i try bad memories are fourced into my head... it's like my mind doesn't want me to be happy for a week... you know like a week of freeness... but no! everytime something good happens something bad happens!!! sorry bout that i just have a lot on my mind right now... i should probably stop before i brake something out of my anger... i wish i could be one of those happy people... free not a care in the world... loud and proud... but no i'm a shy quiet angery person...