Life’s a big bowl of nuts
It’ll make you want to rip out your guts.
When it comes to family none can compare,
To my family at a country fair.
But Christmas Eve is the worst,
I swear we must be cursed.
Because every Christmas something goes bad.
Be the décor, the food, or dear old drunk dad.
This Christmas was no exception,
It was the day my mom told me about contraception.
Then she went on her merry way,
Leaving me with nothing to say.
I couldn’t believe what I just heard,
So I went to go ask my brother Byrd.
But on my way to his room,
I had a feeling of impending doom.
I looked into the living room,
And saw grayish fumes.
I yelled for my mom and dad,
When they came, I was really glad.
We tried to put out the fire,
But it just seemed to get higher.
So, in the end we had to leave,
And that’s how I spent my Christmas Eve.
It’ll make you want to rip out your guts.
When it comes to family none can compare,
To my family at a country fair.
But Christmas Eve is the worst,
I swear we must be cursed.
Because every Christmas something goes bad.
Be the décor, the food, or dear old drunk dad.
This Christmas was no exception,
It was the day my mom told me about contraception.
Then she went on her merry way,
Leaving me with nothing to say.
I couldn’t believe what I just heard,
So I went to go ask my brother Byrd.
But on my way to his room,
I had a feeling of impending doom.
I looked into the living room,
And saw grayish fumes.
I yelled for my mom and dad,
When they came, I was really glad.
We tried to put out the fire,
But it just seemed to get higher.
So, in the end we had to leave,
And that’s how I spent my Christmas Eve.
