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Dear Online Diary
I Hope She Is Okay.
2 days ago Samantha texted me, stating that our friend, Todd, called her and started to insult her randomly, then saying, "Do not talk to me ever again" and hung up.

I reassured her he must be drunk or got into a fight with his girlfriend and was taking the frustration out on Samantha.

This small act caused Samantha to go ballistic!

She then started to bring herself down, saying she was "ugly."
"Samantha, you are not ugly. Definitely not. You are amazing."

I felt odd fessing that up to her. Heh, she thought my crush on her died a year ago.

Samantha became upset. She said I was being way too nice to her.
That's strange, I thought, 'cause I usually take advantage of you in my time of need.
I am not that great of a friend.

Another text by her informed me there was a swiss army knife taunting her.
Somehow I managed the feeling of cutting away from her.

I am really worried about my friend.
I was always so wound up in my own problems last year, i did not know about her struggles with cutting much later in our friendship. And when I did know, she had told me she stopped. That might have been the truth. The knives just being there can start you up again.

If I knew how much cutting was gonna ******** up my life, I would have never started in the 1st place. My belief now is that it jacked up my life, not fixing it, like I thought it was.

*sigh* I am worried about my dear friend.

At least she comforted me with, "Hey, even if I will cut, I'll never cut as deep as you."

I always talk about me, so i refrained from doing so, but she kept bringing me up.
I would quickly change the subject back to her.

At 1 point, she really got me.
She said, "You know that day we saw all those movies? I kept looking over at you. You were so cute watching the movie."

Samantha kept saying stuff like that.
Kind of sad, 'cause she got me to blush over texts. So lame.

I hope she is okay. She invited me to hang out with her this week, saying she misses me.

Yeah, last time she saw me I cannot say we were in the best place.
The hospital.





 
 
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