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Summer is approaching rapidly, I'm beginning to get anxious.
How is it that I feel though?
Is my student instinct taking the weather,
forcing me to this
impractical
anxiety,

Or is it my learned fear,
of the combined factors
that make life without
school seem
miserable.

I wonder.

How did I become this way?
I know how,
I lost control of my emotions.
I got carried away.

It should've never happened,
it wasn't fair,
nor destiny,
furthermore impractical.

Before I knew it my mind took my logic by the neck and started dragging it away.
Regardless of what logic taught me.
Now it is corrupted.

My new, renewed character has been grown around school as its template.
Without school it would lay as nothing more than
misorganised
fragments.

Discapline would dissipate.
Personality lack,
Routine scramble,
Productivity fade,
Lifestyle crumble,
Schedule vanish.

Life as I know it is slipping away.

I was a fool to build without a stable foundation.


With the passing of this summer everything will start anew.
Friendly relationships,
Class buddies,
teachers, mentors,
family as I recognise it.

Off to a new one, I'm helpless to prevent it.
Or even delay it.

I'm impatient for the ending of one thing with this summer.
Love.

Maybe with the time away my mind'll finally bid this burden ado.

And I could start construction on a new, improved building.
With the proper foundation, template to build it on.
Finest materials.
Efficiant structure.
That way with the next summer it doesn't come falling down.

If only such fanciful attributes existed for my current recources.
Goodluck.






Fin.