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More -Bleeping- Blee- than you can -bleep- with a stick

Community Member
She writes AGAIN!!!!!
Ever since about three years ago, maybe four now, I've had a horible feeling on the inside of me. Its a feeling that some people might recognize. Its a horible lack of emotions. I dont get excited the way i used to or sad in a way that i really feel. It just feels as if my heart stoped reacting. *Sighs* I've been working to figure out the sorce of this for so long. For me a i vaugly relate its disapearance to the loss of my first boy friend. No he isnt dead but i... i almost NEVER see him. Ever time i ive glanced at him from a far my heart just about pops out my chest and runs after him. (Yes i know im lame) Hes the only thing that makes me feel. And man does it sting like a Mo-Fo. But thats not what i want to know. I want to know how to get my heart back. (*gasp* maybe hes taken it and is planning on holding it ransome!) No NO NO. I have my heart and will get it back to working order.
While i was washing my dishes i realised what it might be. I have no ambitions. Well there are a few things i want to do with my life but there not really ambitions. I dont have the dreams i used to have when i was younger. Dreams like i need more money for the groceries and why havnt i gotten my licence and grades dont count! AT ALL! Well, No more. I want to realise sme of my ambitions. Things like The on all neards have. I want to make it out of this universe to one with more magic... or if i could even find some of the magic in this universe.... (im just afraid the skeptic in me would stop my heart from feeling it.) LOSE WEIGHT IS NOT A DREAM!!!!! (kicks self in the self concious) I supose if i could just have faith in something again. Like love or magic. I have love and am loved but have no faith in love and i dont want it to stay like that.

If you want my wish i just want to have my faith in love and magic back and for my heart to feel as deeply as it used to.

I want to be strong enough for that again.

Nai the chu. heart heart

User Comments: [1]
Community Member
comment Commented on: Sat Jul 29, 2006 @ 08:35am
Why dont you just follow the dreams you had when you were younger. You dont even have to remember what the where, you just have to remember how you felt. The heart is always stronger than the mind. Follow your heart, Nai. Dont be distracted by your doubts and thoughts.

User Comments: [1]
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