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Life is odd, wierd, cruel, sweet, blessing, and fun.

Lately I can't exactly say what it is anymore all i know is im sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the worst to come and pass. Theres alot of steps and roads we take in life some we shouldn't have dare traveled but we do any way due to our human nature. My question to my self is even though i know the answers to my problems why can't i appy those answers before i damage myself? I can't find the strength to tell my self no alot of the times which usally leads me down a road of devistation that i find yet again i have to face alone. Sometimes simple words and hugs can't heal mistakes and the wounds left behind afterwards.

With all this being said i wonder what my actions will lead me down tommrow and will i be a step closer to being better or tearing open the wound that's trying to hard to close. The choice in the end is ultimately my choice but will i be strong enough to fight the urge? For my sake lets all just pray to god that i can. At this point im on my hands and knees and i give up.

-Subby