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[[Note: I did NOT make this! I only compiled the series of uhm...quotations? which were included to some of the scanlations released by the group Dangerous-Pleasure. ]]

1. Selective hearing is a necessary trait in a seme. When your uke says "no," what you hear is, "Please ignore my tears, resisting and all that jazz because, really, I want you to continue.

2. You can forgive your uke for anything. It will eaither lead to sex (of the make-up variety) or more sex (as punishment). Either way, you win. biggrin

3.No matter how much your uke struggles, you can always tie your uke in a compromising position in five seconds flat. If this was a contest, you'd win first place hands down (or tied).

4. It doesn't matter if your uke is as dumb as a doorknob and irritating as hell, you still love him because... you're a seme and that's what semes do.

5. If you are foreign, you consider Japanese men cute and cuddly and will go to extreme lengths to turn them into your uke. This is especially true of American CEOs, exchange students, Middle Eastern princes, French patissiers, Chinese Mafia hunks, Italian captains and English Noblemen with funny names.

6. Smexing your uke with his glasses on his the ultimate goal. If the uke takes off his glasses before/while you smex him, you have failed.

7. You can't afford to smex your uke with your glasses on because if that happens, you can't be sure if the uke loves you or the glasses.

8. Regardless of what kind of seme you are, you love to talk dirty during sex.

9. It's perfectly normal to be able to pin a grown man to the wall using only one hand to grip his wrists.

10. After sex, you always wear the pajama pants. Your uke will wear the shirt, lest he wishes to tempt you again with his perky pink nipples.

11. Want to know the menaing behind your uke's words? Use our handy uke-tionary.
*No, I don't want this - ******** me.
*Stop it! - ******** me.
*I need to sleep. - ******** me.
*What's for dinner? - ******** me.

12. Semes hardly ever sweat during sex. ukes, on the other hand, produce copious amounts of fluids of varying origins.

13.Never let your uke do any work! It's the uke's job to lie on the bed, it's YOUR job to make him feel good all night. (if your uke hasn't come at least 5 times you're doing it wrong.)

14. Everybody is out to rape your uke. You've got to protect his chastity by guarding him day and night!

15. SAS - Semes Always Swallow.
Spitting out semen is for wusses.

16. You don't have to think too hard for the perfect birthday present for your uke - just do him eight times in a row. On the other hand, the only acceptable present for you is your uke wearing an apron and nothing else.