Chapter Name:
~PATHETIC~
Tossing and Turning is all I ever did at night because the nightmares never let me sleep. I figured I would be used to these kinds of things seeing as it’s been a year since I’ve moved in with my dad but I guess that wasn’t happening anytime soon.
I shifted to my side and turned my head to look at the clock on my night stand. “8:30am right on time” I woke up around this time every morning. What was the point of being on summer vacation if I couldn’t sleep till two in the afternoon like every other teenager my age would be doing.
My room was dimly lit with the light from the sun coming from my bedroom window. It was the middle of summer and the sun refused to completely shine but I guess that was expected from Forks.
I stretched my legs reaching my right hand across the other half of my bed to find it empty. “Edward?”
How could I forget it was Saturday and Edward was probably out hunting in the mountains with his brothers. It’s so hard remembering I have a vampire for a boyfriend and that he needs to hunt because I knew how painful it was for him to be around me while he was thirsty.
I forced myself out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen. There was a newspaper and a coffee mug on the kitchen table. Charlie’s cruiser was gone but his badge and gun were still hanging on the wall. “I guess he’s out fishing in La Push with Billy.” “Geez he could have let me make him some breakfast before he rushed off to the lake.”
I went to the cabinet to fetch me some cereal. I wasn’t too hungry this morning. As I ate I realized how quiet the house was without Charlie around. He usually had the TV blasting to the point that I was sure the whole neighborhood could hear it.
The cereal satisfied the little bit of hunger I had and I headed back upstairs. I sat at my computer to check if Rene had emailed me yet but my mailbox was empty. I walked to the bathroom and my laundry basket was empty. “That’s right I did the laundry yesterday.”
I went back to my room and plopped myself onto my bed. “Ok I’m bored!” “Edward’s gone pretty much all day and there’s nothing to do around the house.” “What now?”
I stayed staring at the ceiling for a good while and came up with nothing that I could do. The days had just begun and already I’m wishing it was over. How much more pathetic could I get?
I rolled over to see my book Wuthering Heights sitting on my pillow. Edward must have bin reading it again. He still couldn’t see why it was I read that book over and over again.
A good chunk of time went by as I stood staring blankly at my bedroom wall. After minutes of me telling myself to just get up I finally convinced myself to go back downstairs and just watch some TV. I curled up on the couch and turned on the TV. “Maybe this will help make time go faster.” But of course I was completely wrong. After flipping through the same channels about twenty times I decided on just leaving it on the news. Immediately I stared at the TV frustrated. “How can people stand watching this show it’s so boring?”
I finally turned off the TV and settle on going back into bed when the phone rang. “I wander who that could be?”
I ran over to the receiver in the kitchen and answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey Bella!”
A gush of excitement flew inside of me as Jacob’s voice said my name. “Oh Jake its you thank god”
“Wow what’s gotten into you? You’re usually not this enthusiastic when I call.”
“Nothing gotten into me I’m just having the worst day ever. I can’t find anything to do.”
“Well aren’t I just in time”
“What do you mean?”
“Well the reason I was calling is I was wandering if you wanted to come and hang out”
“That sounds way better then me just sitting here by myself”
“By yourself huh?”
“Yeah…”
“Where’s your bloodsu… I mean where’s Edward at? You guys are like joined by the hip I’m shocked he’s not there.”
“We are not” I growled
“Ok! Ok! Calmed down Bella I was just kidding”
I took a deep breathe “He’s not here with me because he’s out hunting with Emmett and Jasper.”
There was a slight pause. I could picture Jake clutching his fists together to keep his temper down. It made me chuckle.
“What’s so funny? He asked in a low voice.
He was upset I thought to myself. “It’s nothing” I said in a cracked voice trying to keep the giggles in. “So do you want me to come over or not?”
His voice was light again. “Yeah a course I do.”
“Ok then fine I’ll be over there in a few, alright?”
“Sweet then I’ll see you at my place”
“Yep, Bye Jake” but he had hung up already. “Hmmm”
I rushed upstairs to take a quick shower and get dressed. I was finally going to get out of this prison cell. Home just wasn’t a good place to be when you were the only one in it.
It took me about an hour to get ready before I was running out the door and into my truck. The engine roared as I sped out of the driveway and started making my way to La Push. It wasn’t long until I was parked in front of Jakes small house and was walking up to the front door.
I didn’t bother knocking because I was sure he’d heard the roar of my engine as I pulled up in front. The door was unlocked as I expected and I let myself in. To my surprise the house was empty the only sign of life was the dimly lit lamp in the living room.
I walked over to Jacob’s room to find it empty as well. “Where is he? I know he didn’t invite me here and just leave without saying a word.”
As I was about to leave I heard small laughter coming from the back. “Of course!” Jake spent mostly all him time in his garage working on either his car or our bikes.
I made my way out the back door and towards the garage. As I got nearer I started to figure that maybe Quil, Jared, and Embry were here as well. I mean why wouldn’t they be they were Jake’s best friends. But as I got closer it was to my surprise that the laughing was coming from Leah. She sat at the opposite side of were Jacob was. He was of course leaning under the hood of his car fixing it.
I really didn’t like Leah even though I knew little about her. There was just something about her that made me feel uncomfortable but it had nothing to do with the fact that she was a werewolf just like Jake was it was something else.
I slowed my pace and went to turn around but before I could make a run for it there was a gentle tap on my left shoulder.
“Hey Bella you made it” said a well toned voice. I turned around to see Leah standing a few feet away from me with a big smile showing off her perfect teeth.
“You weren’t just trying to leave where you?” she eyed me curiously.
“Oh no of course not I was just um….”
Jacob cut me off. “Hi Bells you got here fast” He was wiping off the black from his hands as he stepped towards me and Leah.
“Yeah! I’m not interrupting anything am I?” I replied looking suspiciously between Jacob and her”
“Nah! Me and Lee-lee was just talkin’ about the pack.” He smiled and put an arm around Leah’s waist.
“Oh ok, well I was just checking.” Something didn’t seem right to me. Since when were Jake and Leah so close. I thought they hated each other. Maybe he was just being nice to her since she was part of the pack now. She was the only female from the blood line to ever become a werewolf.
There was silence for a while as I stared awkwardly at them.
“So what do we have planned to do tonight?” said Leah breaking the silence.
“Night?” I said in shock tone while looking up at the sky. She was right the sun was just about to set. “Wow time flew by today and here I thought it was going super slow.”
What do you mean? Asked Leah but before I could reply Jacob cut in and answered her question instead. “Oh Bella’s mad cuz her bloodsuckers not around.”
That set me off. “Shut up Jake!”
“Well it’s the truth!” he replied obnoxiously.
I turned to leave but quickly was pulled back by a light tug on the hood of my sweater. “Let me go Jake I…” but when I turned around it wasn’t Jacob pulling me back it was Leah.
“Please don’t go Bella he didn’t mean any harm you know how Jake can be” she said while lightly nudging Jake in his side.
I folded my arms and scolded at Jake waiting for him to apologize but when he didn’t say anything Leah nudged him again harder.
“Ok…I’m sorry Bella’s so dull and can’t take a joke.” He said before sticking out his tongue. I clenched my fists. “Alright fine! I’m sorry for what I said Bells.” He said while trying to dazzle me with his smile. I rolled my eyes. “Whatever” I replied while trying to hold back a grin.
I could never stay mad at Jake for long. He always came up with a way to make me smile or even forget why we were fighting in the first place.
“Right, now that that’s settled back to what I said before. What are we going to do?” Leah said while staring at Jacob.
Jake put his index finger on his chin and made a thinking face but then after a few seconds he flicked his finger up in front of his face. “Light Bulb” I thought to myself.
“Why don’t we go to the beach? We can ride our bikes there.”
Now he was the one seeming very enthusiastic. I knew Jake loved riding the bike I got him but I knew for a fact he’d rather run there if it wasn’t for me holding him and Leah back.
“Well that sounds like a good plan. What do you think Bella?” they both looked at me waiting for my answer. How could I say no with them staring at me like that besides it was two against one was only fair.
“That sounds good except Leah doesn’t have a bike” it was more like a question then a statement.
“Of course Leah’s got a bike its right over there” he said while pointing to a pitch black bike hidden in the shadows. The only way I could make it out was by how shinny it was.
“Oh well then I guess that’s settled we’re going to the beach.” I replied in a sarcastic voice. Leah and Jake didn’t seem to notice the tone of my voice because the both of them took off to get their bikes, or maybe they just didn’t care.
I walked slowly inside the garage to get my bike. It probably was in a blanket of dust and cob webs. It’s been quit a while since I’ve come over and took it out for a cruise.
To my surprise my bike sat next to Jakes shinier than ever with my helmet and patted jacket Edward gave me out of fear of my unnatural attraction of always getting into some kind of danger no matter what I was doing.
Jake handed me my riding gear and lifted both our bikes to put them in front. I followed him to the front of his house where Leah waited patiently on her bike. Jake set mine behind hers and his next to hers. I put my safety gear on quickly a little embarrassed with the fact that I was the only one having to wear it seeing as werewolves bodies where harder then ever. Might have better luck trying to make a dent in concrete then on them.
I finally got settled in and carefully got on my bike. Both Jake and Leah swiftly kick started their bikes to life but I on the other hand was having a hard time keeping the bike steady so I could imitate their same maneuvers without falling flat on my face. Jake saw that I was struggling and within a half a second he was next to me starting my bike for me with a small grin on his face. “At least he wasn’t getting frustrated with me for being so slow” I thought to myself before looking up a Leah. She still sat there patiently smiling at how pathetic I looked not being able to start up my own bike. I bet she couldn’t wait to see how I rode it she’s probably hopping I fall off.
Jake got my bike going and was back on his in no time. Both of them started off slow making sure I was ok and when they were satisfied and knew I was in control they sped up. I tried my best to keep up but it was so dark out I could barley see in front of me even with the light from the bike. It wasn’t fair I didn’t have super vision like they did. “Stupid werewolves!” I mumbled under my breath not caring if they heard me or not.
Eventually I made my way to the beach and met them at our usual spot where Jake and I usual came to talk. Both Jake and Leah were sitting on what was left of a fallen tree. I walked slowly towards them dragging my feet.
“Why did Jake invite me” this thought kept going through my head. I’ve never felt so humiliated. It was like they were on a date or something. This made me frustrated and I started to pick up my pace. If he wanted to be alone with her then he shouldn’t have asked me to tag along like some third wheel.
As I got closer I could see that they were holding hands. Oh that is it I’m ending this right now. “Jacob can I talk to you…Alone!”
He looked at me surprised “Um sure Bells” he got up and I grabbed his hand and made him follow me away from Leah. She didn’t even seem to care that I was dragging him away she just sat and stared out into the glistening water under the moonlight.
My eyes were starting to adjust and I could walk straight stepping over anything that might make me trip. Jake eventually pulled his hand away and stopped walking. “What’s the problem Bella what’d you need to talk about?” he was still calm.
“You are my problem Jacob Black!” I was trying to control the volume of my voice.
“What are you talking about? What did I do now?” he said lost at my words.
“Don’t play dumb! You’re all over Leah! I don’t know why you invited me over if she was going to be here too!”
“What’s the big deal? It doesn’t matter if she’s here or not I never told you it was just going to be me and you when I invited you over.”
“Well it matters to me I would of liked to know ahead of time”
“Why?”
“Because!”
“Because why? So that you could have said no to coming?”
“Yes!”
He stared at me in a way I wasn’t expecting. He didn’t look furious with me like he usually would have. He looked like he felt sorry for me by the way I was acting.
“What are you staring at” I snapped at him
“Your really are pathetic Bella” he said in a low emotionless voice.
His words stung me I could feel a lump forming in my throat but I didn’t let it stop me from talking back to him.
“What!” I tried to hide the fact that my voice had gotten deeper with the lump.
“You heard me!” He snapped back. “You’re pathetic! I can’t believe you have the nerve to be getting jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.” I didn’t sound convincing even to myself.
“Who are you trying to kid Bella? I know you better than anyone else and I know when you’re lying.”
I couldn’t talk the lump grew bigger. I was trying so hard to fight back tears. I couldn’t say or do anything all I could do was listen to him.
“Look Bella you really need to make up your mind ok. You love Edward right?”
I nodded yes. That was all that I could do in order to respond to him.
“Ok so then why are you getting jealous? You know how I feel about you. You know that I love you and that I will always love you but when I’m trying to move on and get over you the best I could you go and get upset about it. Are you that heartless? You think I just want to sit here and watch you give your heart to some bloodsucker? Cuz if that’s what you were thinking then you’re mistaken because I’m not going to inflict anymore pain upon myself for your satisfaction. I won’t do it anymore Bella. I’m done playing your little games and I’m done chasing after you.” He stopped.
It looked like he was catching his breath but before he could go on I turned around and took off running. I could listen to him anymore. He didn’t call after me or try and stop me but I could feel him staring at me as I ran away like a coward.
I hadn’t realized that I was crying until the hot summer wind felt cool against my face. It was moist out and I hadn’t realized it until I slowed down to catch my breath. I didn’t car if I had to walk to my car I was already to far from the beach to go back and get my bike. I started to walk down the road we had come from to Jacob’s house.
“Jacob” I whispered. It was hard to say his name now. It stung in the back of my throat and tears began to fall again. Jake was right about everything, I was pathetic for being jealous over Leah and I was being selfish for trying to take away the bit a happiness he was trying to sustain. I loved Edward and nothing was going to change that.
I started to walk faster all I wanted to do was get home already. Maybe Edward was back from hunting and was waiting for me. The air was getting cooler but still moist. I looked up at the night sky and saw thick gray clouds lingering everywhere. I then turned my gaze to the thick forests that lay on either side’s of the road.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I should of went back to get my bike.” I was whispering still. I looked around seeing nothing but blackness among the trees. Then there was a noise, I stopped right in my tracks. I stood as still as I could trying to listen but heard nothing but my heart thudding in my ears. I turned to walk again when someone from behind me asked.
“What are you doing out here alone?”
I shifted to my side and turned my head to look at the clock on my night stand. “8:30am right on time” I woke up around this time every morning. What was the point of being on summer vacation if I couldn’t sleep till two in the afternoon like every other teenager my age would be doing.
My room was dimly lit with the light from the sun coming from my bedroom window. It was the middle of summer and the sun refused to completely shine but I guess that was expected from Forks.
I stretched my legs reaching my right hand across the other half of my bed to find it empty. “Edward?”
How could I forget it was Saturday and Edward was probably out hunting in the mountains with his brothers. It’s so hard remembering I have a vampire for a boyfriend and that he needs to hunt because I knew how painful it was for him to be around me while he was thirsty.
I forced myself out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen. There was a newspaper and a coffee mug on the kitchen table. Charlie’s cruiser was gone but his badge and gun were still hanging on the wall. “I guess he’s out fishing in La Push with Billy.” “Geez he could have let me make him some breakfast before he rushed off to the lake.”
I went to the cabinet to fetch me some cereal. I wasn’t too hungry this morning. As I ate I realized how quiet the house was without Charlie around. He usually had the TV blasting to the point that I was sure the whole neighborhood could hear it.
The cereal satisfied the little bit of hunger I had and I headed back upstairs. I sat at my computer to check if Rene had emailed me yet but my mailbox was empty. I walked to the bathroom and my laundry basket was empty. “That’s right I did the laundry yesterday.”
I went back to my room and plopped myself onto my bed. “Ok I’m bored!” “Edward’s gone pretty much all day and there’s nothing to do around the house.” “What now?”
I stayed staring at the ceiling for a good while and came up with nothing that I could do. The days had just begun and already I’m wishing it was over. How much more pathetic could I get?
I rolled over to see my book Wuthering Heights sitting on my pillow. Edward must have bin reading it again. He still couldn’t see why it was I read that book over and over again.
A good chunk of time went by as I stood staring blankly at my bedroom wall. After minutes of me telling myself to just get up I finally convinced myself to go back downstairs and just watch some TV. I curled up on the couch and turned on the TV. “Maybe this will help make time go faster.” But of course I was completely wrong. After flipping through the same channels about twenty times I decided on just leaving it on the news. Immediately I stared at the TV frustrated. “How can people stand watching this show it’s so boring?”
I finally turned off the TV and settle on going back into bed when the phone rang. “I wander who that could be?”
I ran over to the receiver in the kitchen and answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey Bella!”
A gush of excitement flew inside of me as Jacob’s voice said my name. “Oh Jake its you thank god”
“Wow what’s gotten into you? You’re usually not this enthusiastic when I call.”
“Nothing gotten into me I’m just having the worst day ever. I can’t find anything to do.”
“Well aren’t I just in time”
“What do you mean?”
“Well the reason I was calling is I was wandering if you wanted to come and hang out”
“That sounds way better then me just sitting here by myself”
“By yourself huh?”
“Yeah…”
“Where’s your bloodsu… I mean where’s Edward at? You guys are like joined by the hip I’m shocked he’s not there.”
“We are not” I growled
“Ok! Ok! Calmed down Bella I was just kidding”
I took a deep breathe “He’s not here with me because he’s out hunting with Emmett and Jasper.”
There was a slight pause. I could picture Jake clutching his fists together to keep his temper down. It made me chuckle.
“What’s so funny? He asked in a low voice.
He was upset I thought to myself. “It’s nothing” I said in a cracked voice trying to keep the giggles in. “So do you want me to come over or not?”
His voice was light again. “Yeah a course I do.”
“Ok then fine I’ll be over there in a few, alright?”
“Sweet then I’ll see you at my place”
“Yep, Bye Jake” but he had hung up already. “Hmmm”
I rushed upstairs to take a quick shower and get dressed. I was finally going to get out of this prison cell. Home just wasn’t a good place to be when you were the only one in it.
It took me about an hour to get ready before I was running out the door and into my truck. The engine roared as I sped out of the driveway and started making my way to La Push. It wasn’t long until I was parked in front of Jakes small house and was walking up to the front door.
I didn’t bother knocking because I was sure he’d heard the roar of my engine as I pulled up in front. The door was unlocked as I expected and I let myself in. To my surprise the house was empty the only sign of life was the dimly lit lamp in the living room.
I walked over to Jacob’s room to find it empty as well. “Where is he? I know he didn’t invite me here and just leave without saying a word.”
As I was about to leave I heard small laughter coming from the back. “Of course!” Jake spent mostly all him time in his garage working on either his car or our bikes.
I made my way out the back door and towards the garage. As I got nearer I started to figure that maybe Quil, Jared, and Embry were here as well. I mean why wouldn’t they be they were Jake’s best friends. But as I got closer it was to my surprise that the laughing was coming from Leah. She sat at the opposite side of were Jacob was. He was of course leaning under the hood of his car fixing it.
I really didn’t like Leah even though I knew little about her. There was just something about her that made me feel uncomfortable but it had nothing to do with the fact that she was a werewolf just like Jake was it was something else.
I slowed my pace and went to turn around but before I could make a run for it there was a gentle tap on my left shoulder.
“Hey Bella you made it” said a well toned voice. I turned around to see Leah standing a few feet away from me with a big smile showing off her perfect teeth.
“You weren’t just trying to leave where you?” she eyed me curiously.
“Oh no of course not I was just um….”
Jacob cut me off. “Hi Bells you got here fast” He was wiping off the black from his hands as he stepped towards me and Leah.
“Yeah! I’m not interrupting anything am I?” I replied looking suspiciously between Jacob and her”
“Nah! Me and Lee-lee was just talkin’ about the pack.” He smiled and put an arm around Leah’s waist.
“Oh ok, well I was just checking.” Something didn’t seem right to me. Since when were Jake and Leah so close. I thought they hated each other. Maybe he was just being nice to her since she was part of the pack now. She was the only female from the blood line to ever become a werewolf.
There was silence for a while as I stared awkwardly at them.
“So what do we have planned to do tonight?” said Leah breaking the silence.
“Night?” I said in shock tone while looking up at the sky. She was right the sun was just about to set. “Wow time flew by today and here I thought it was going super slow.”
What do you mean? Asked Leah but before I could reply Jacob cut in and answered her question instead. “Oh Bella’s mad cuz her bloodsuckers not around.”
That set me off. “Shut up Jake!”
“Well it’s the truth!” he replied obnoxiously.
I turned to leave but quickly was pulled back by a light tug on the hood of my sweater. “Let me go Jake I…” but when I turned around it wasn’t Jacob pulling me back it was Leah.
“Please don’t go Bella he didn’t mean any harm you know how Jake can be” she said while lightly nudging Jake in his side.
I folded my arms and scolded at Jake waiting for him to apologize but when he didn’t say anything Leah nudged him again harder.
“Ok…I’m sorry Bella’s so dull and can’t take a joke.” He said before sticking out his tongue. I clenched my fists. “Alright fine! I’m sorry for what I said Bells.” He said while trying to dazzle me with his smile. I rolled my eyes. “Whatever” I replied while trying to hold back a grin.
I could never stay mad at Jake for long. He always came up with a way to make me smile or even forget why we were fighting in the first place.
“Right, now that that’s settled back to what I said before. What are we going to do?” Leah said while staring at Jacob.
Jake put his index finger on his chin and made a thinking face but then after a few seconds he flicked his finger up in front of his face. “Light Bulb” I thought to myself.
“Why don’t we go to the beach? We can ride our bikes there.”
Now he was the one seeming very enthusiastic. I knew Jake loved riding the bike I got him but I knew for a fact he’d rather run there if it wasn’t for me holding him and Leah back.
“Well that sounds like a good plan. What do you think Bella?” they both looked at me waiting for my answer. How could I say no with them staring at me like that besides it was two against one was only fair.
“That sounds good except Leah doesn’t have a bike” it was more like a question then a statement.
“Of course Leah’s got a bike its right over there” he said while pointing to a pitch black bike hidden in the shadows. The only way I could make it out was by how shinny it was.
“Oh well then I guess that’s settled we’re going to the beach.” I replied in a sarcastic voice. Leah and Jake didn’t seem to notice the tone of my voice because the both of them took off to get their bikes, or maybe they just didn’t care.
I walked slowly inside the garage to get my bike. It probably was in a blanket of dust and cob webs. It’s been quit a while since I’ve come over and took it out for a cruise.
To my surprise my bike sat next to Jakes shinier than ever with my helmet and patted jacket Edward gave me out of fear of my unnatural attraction of always getting into some kind of danger no matter what I was doing.
Jake handed me my riding gear and lifted both our bikes to put them in front. I followed him to the front of his house where Leah waited patiently on her bike. Jake set mine behind hers and his next to hers. I put my safety gear on quickly a little embarrassed with the fact that I was the only one having to wear it seeing as werewolves bodies where harder then ever. Might have better luck trying to make a dent in concrete then on them.
I finally got settled in and carefully got on my bike. Both Jake and Leah swiftly kick started their bikes to life but I on the other hand was having a hard time keeping the bike steady so I could imitate their same maneuvers without falling flat on my face. Jake saw that I was struggling and within a half a second he was next to me starting my bike for me with a small grin on his face. “At least he wasn’t getting frustrated with me for being so slow” I thought to myself before looking up a Leah. She still sat there patiently smiling at how pathetic I looked not being able to start up my own bike. I bet she couldn’t wait to see how I rode it she’s probably hopping I fall off.
Jake got my bike going and was back on his in no time. Both of them started off slow making sure I was ok and when they were satisfied and knew I was in control they sped up. I tried my best to keep up but it was so dark out I could barley see in front of me even with the light from the bike. It wasn’t fair I didn’t have super vision like they did. “Stupid werewolves!” I mumbled under my breath not caring if they heard me or not.
Eventually I made my way to the beach and met them at our usual spot where Jake and I usual came to talk. Both Jake and Leah were sitting on what was left of a fallen tree. I walked slowly towards them dragging my feet.
“Why did Jake invite me” this thought kept going through my head. I’ve never felt so humiliated. It was like they were on a date or something. This made me frustrated and I started to pick up my pace. If he wanted to be alone with her then he shouldn’t have asked me to tag along like some third wheel.
As I got closer I could see that they were holding hands. Oh that is it I’m ending this right now. “Jacob can I talk to you…Alone!”
He looked at me surprised “Um sure Bells” he got up and I grabbed his hand and made him follow me away from Leah. She didn’t even seem to care that I was dragging him away she just sat and stared out into the glistening water under the moonlight.
My eyes were starting to adjust and I could walk straight stepping over anything that might make me trip. Jake eventually pulled his hand away and stopped walking. “What’s the problem Bella what’d you need to talk about?” he was still calm.
“You are my problem Jacob Black!” I was trying to control the volume of my voice.
“What are you talking about? What did I do now?” he said lost at my words.
“Don’t play dumb! You’re all over Leah! I don’t know why you invited me over if she was going to be here too!”
“What’s the big deal? It doesn’t matter if she’s here or not I never told you it was just going to be me and you when I invited you over.”
“Well it matters to me I would of liked to know ahead of time”
“Why?”
“Because!”
“Because why? So that you could have said no to coming?”
“Yes!”
He stared at me in a way I wasn’t expecting. He didn’t look furious with me like he usually would have. He looked like he felt sorry for me by the way I was acting.
“What are you staring at” I snapped at him
“Your really are pathetic Bella” he said in a low emotionless voice.
His words stung me I could feel a lump forming in my throat but I didn’t let it stop me from talking back to him.
“What!” I tried to hide the fact that my voice had gotten deeper with the lump.
“You heard me!” He snapped back. “You’re pathetic! I can’t believe you have the nerve to be getting jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.” I didn’t sound convincing even to myself.
“Who are you trying to kid Bella? I know you better than anyone else and I know when you’re lying.”
I couldn’t talk the lump grew bigger. I was trying so hard to fight back tears. I couldn’t say or do anything all I could do was listen to him.
“Look Bella you really need to make up your mind ok. You love Edward right?”
I nodded yes. That was all that I could do in order to respond to him.
“Ok so then why are you getting jealous? You know how I feel about you. You know that I love you and that I will always love you but when I’m trying to move on and get over you the best I could you go and get upset about it. Are you that heartless? You think I just want to sit here and watch you give your heart to some bloodsucker? Cuz if that’s what you were thinking then you’re mistaken because I’m not going to inflict anymore pain upon myself for your satisfaction. I won’t do it anymore Bella. I’m done playing your little games and I’m done chasing after you.” He stopped.
It looked like he was catching his breath but before he could go on I turned around and took off running. I could listen to him anymore. He didn’t call after me or try and stop me but I could feel him staring at me as I ran away like a coward.
I hadn’t realized that I was crying until the hot summer wind felt cool against my face. It was moist out and I hadn’t realized it until I slowed down to catch my breath. I didn’t car if I had to walk to my car I was already to far from the beach to go back and get my bike. I started to walk down the road we had come from to Jacob’s house.
“Jacob” I whispered. It was hard to say his name now. It stung in the back of my throat and tears began to fall again. Jake was right about everything, I was pathetic for being jealous over Leah and I was being selfish for trying to take away the bit a happiness he was trying to sustain. I loved Edward and nothing was going to change that.
I started to walk faster all I wanted to do was get home already. Maybe Edward was back from hunting and was waiting for me. The air was getting cooler but still moist. I looked up at the night sky and saw thick gray clouds lingering everywhere. I then turned my gaze to the thick forests that lay on either side’s of the road.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I should of went back to get my bike.” I was whispering still. I looked around seeing nothing but blackness among the trees. Then there was a noise, I stopped right in my tracks. I stood as still as I could trying to listen but heard nothing but my heart thudding in my ears. I turned to walk again when someone from behind me asked.
“What are you doing out here alone?”
