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The Boring Life of Melissa
My Journal is hopefully going to be a update on my life. I really hope I'll be able to remember to update often, even though I doubt anyone will read it.
Crying... Again
I cried all night last night and I'm crying again. I'm so depressed. My friend hates me. It's Father's Day. I'm on my period and can't go swimming. TODAY SUCKS. I really wish that I could just disappear and never come back. Today has been so depressing. So stressful. I can't wait for it to end. Josh, I'm sorry I'm so stupid. Dad, I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.






User Comments: [2] [add]
I Love Dandelions
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commentCommented on: Sun Jun 21, 2009 @ 11:05pm
Don't lose all faith in yourself. Things happen. Your period will end one day, and there's plenty of time to go swimming. It's Summer~! Your dad loves you. You are his daughter, and he will always loves you no matter what happens. Josh will probably forgive you one day, and if not, forget about it. You tried.


commentCommented on: Wed Jun 24, 2009 @ 08:38am
Melissa, you must let go of all guilt you have about what happened to your Dad. Trust me on this.

My whole life, my dad drank and on occasions smoked crack. Sometimes he'd get cleaned up, a lot of the times he wasn't. I was 13 when he took some rope and hung himself behind an old garage. During this point I had not spoken to my dad in a couple months. The very last time I ever spoke to him was on the phone. He was doing real bad at that time and I pretended I didn't know who he was. The worst part was, he knew it was me and what I was doing. For years I felt that if I had not done that, if I had maybe, done better or tried to help him more, he'd still be here with me today.

But here's the truth, my dad's troubles started when he was young and there was nothing I could have ever done to make a difference. I loved my dad very much and have many found memories of him. Camping, BBQs, just hanging out and watching a movie. And I know, without a doubt, I brought a lot of happens to his life.

With your dad, his drug addiction started long before he had you and I'm sure before he knew your mother. If he knew that for a second you blamed his death on yourself, he would be heart broken, because he hid his drug use from all of you to protect you. Because the last thing he wanted was for his mistakes to affect you or your siblings.

The guilt, the hurt, the pain, let it all go and then you can begin to live. Because if you don't, every single relationship you have, be it with friend, family or mate, will be effected in a negative away.



Heart of Blades
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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