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I'm strange, I know it, and I don't care.
Anything and everything that's me.
What do you do when the so called 'love' of your life tears your heart out and hides it from you? What if he gives it back and does it again? What if he takes your heart....and for a night gives it to another girl? What if he gives it back tainted and never lets you know? What if it poisons you from the inside out and slowly kills you?

I see myself as a strong and beautiful girl. I always want to see the good in people and I am always giving people more chances than they deserve. I always told myself that if a guy ever cheat on me...I'd dump his a** so fast it'd fall off. But then I met him. We were perfect for each other. He was my lion and I was his lamb. Yes I made a Twilight reference, but that is the only way to describe how fast we fell for each other. It was instant. Nothing could keep me from him. Modern day Romeo and Juliet. And I loved him with my whole heart. When he looked at me...I WAS all he saw. I know for a fact that he loved me as much as I loved him.....before he even knew I liked him...he carried me across a driveway of rocks because they hurt my feet. He carried my 185 lb a** across gravel....
I remember when we started dating, we had a contest to see who would give in and kiss the other first..I lost *smiles* I'm so glad I did...it was so worth it....

But one day...everything went wrong...I found out he slept with one of my best friends. Despicable right? I was mad for 3 days....and I took him back. I wanted to see the good in him. He was perfect...except for that. I couldn't help it. He was the one I couldn't get out of my head. He made my head spin and my heart melt, and he didn't even have to be near. I know I was stupid but I really did love him. That was January........

Just the other day.....it happened again...I found out it was with his ex....over two months ago..... It was the final straw. I couldn't do it again....I don't like to cry because it feels like acid. But I cried...so much..Hell I'm crying now...can't even see the screen or the keyboard. I miss him so much.

We have this Twilight necklace that is a heart broken in half and it is magnetic. His half says 'And so the Lion" and mine says "Fell in love with the Lamb'. I let him keep it. I asked for all my other things...but I let him keep it. I want it to remind him of the only person that loved him the most. I would have done anything for him and I don't think he really realized that. He was one of the most important things in my life. I gave up so much stuff. I was always in trouble....but I suffered through it for him. We used to argue all the time and i miss it....because he always made me feel better after wards........he was the only one to ever call me baby and i love it....


What do you do when the only person that can make you stop crying is the one that made you cry?


I hate him but I love him so. I don't know why, but I can't let go (hey that rhymed lol) I just hoped he's learned that you don't hurt what you love. He told me I was precious and delicate...and yet again he dropped me.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.



[img:2b7629a8f6]http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc219/alovethatburns/0525102102c-1-1.jpg[/img:2b7629a8f6]




User Comments: [1] [add]
XTechnicolorLoveX
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed Aug 26, 2009 @ 02:21am
oh baby
i'm so sorry
i feel bad that i can't hug you!
i'm so sorry.......
you'll find someone else
i know you will
you're strong!
you'll get through it!
pinky swears out the a**!
you'll find someone else and he'll be better!!!!
he wont do that s**t to you
and i hate that i'm in this too....
and i'm really sorry....
**HUG** <<its hu-mungo!


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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